There was an Scotsman, an Englishman and Claudia Schiffer sitting together in a carriage in a train going through Wales. Suddenly the train went through a tunnel and as it was an old style train,there were no lights in the carriages and it went completely dark. Then there was this kissing noise and the sound of a really loud slap. When the train came out of the tunnel, Claudia Schiffer and the Scotsman were sitting as if nothing had happened and the Englishman had his hand against his face as he had been slapped.
The Englishman was thinking: ‘The Scottish fella must have kissed Claudia Schiffer and she missed him and slapped me instead.’ Claudia Schiffer was thinking: ‘The English fella must have tried to kiss me and actually kissed the Scotsman and got slapped for it.’ And the Scotsman was thinking: ‘This is great. The next time the train goes through a tunnel I’ll make that kissing noise and slap that English btard again.
n. Ski-run of compacted snow. [french, = racetrack]
PITCH
—v. - erect and fix (a tent, camp, etc.).
- throw.
- fix in a definite position.
- express in a particular style or at a particular level.
- (often foll. By against, into, etc.) Fall heavily, esp. Headlong.
- (of a ship etc.) Plunge backwards and forwards in a lengthwise direction.
- mus. Set at a particular pitch.
- cricket a cause (a bowled ball) to strike the ground at a specified point etc. B (of a ball) strike the ground thus. —n. - area of play in a field-game.
- height, degree, intensity, etc. (excitement had reached such a pitch).
- degree of slope, esp. Of a roof.
- mus. Quality of a sound governed by the rate of vibrations producing it; highness or lowness of a note.
- act of throwing.
- pitching motion of a ship etc.
- colloq.
- —n. Dark resinous substance from the distillation of tar or turpentine, used for making ships watertight etc. —v. Coat with pitch. pitchy adj. (-ier, -iest). [latin pix pic-]
n. Peg driven into rock or a crack to support a climber or rope. [french]
PITTA
n. (also pita) flat hollow unleavened bread which can be split and filled. [modern greek, = a kind of cake]
PIVOT
—n. - shaft or pin on which something turns or oscillates.
- crucial or essential person, point, etc. —v. (-t-) 1 turn on or as on a pivot.
- provide with a pivot. pivotal adj. [french]
PIXEL
n. Any of the minute areas of uniform illumination of which an image on a display screen is composed. [abbreviation of picture element]
PIXIE
n. (also pixy) (pl. -ies) fairy-like being. [origin unknown]
PIZZA
n. Italian dish of a layer of dough baked with a topping of tomatoes, cheese, etc. [italian, = pie]
PLACE
—n. - a particular portion of space. B portion of space occupied by a person or thing. C proper or natural position.
- city, town, village, etc.
- residence, home.
- group of houses in a town etc., esp. A square.
- (esp. Large) country house.
- rank or status.
- space, esp. A seat, for a person.
- building or area for a specific purpose (place of work).
- point reached in a book etc. (lost my place). 10 particular spot on a surface, esp. Of the skin (sore place). 11 a employment or office. B duties or entitlements of office etc. (not my place to criticize). 12 position as a member of a team, student in a college, etc. 13 any of the first three (or four) positions in a race, esp. Other than the winner. 14 position of a digit in a series indicated in decimal or similar notation. —v. (-cing) 1 put in a particular or proper place or state or order; arrange.
- identify, classify, or remember correctly.
- assign to a particular place, class, or rank; locate.
- find employment or a living etc. For.
- make or state (an order or bet etc.).
- (often foll. By in, on, etc.) Have (confidence etc.).
- state the position of (any of the first three or four runners) in a race.
- (as placed adj.) Among the first three (or four) in a race. give place to 1 make room for.
- yield precedence to.
- be succeeded by. Go places colloq. Be successful. In place in the right position; suitable. In place of in exchange for; instead of. In places at only some places or parts. Out of place 1 in the wrong position.
- unsuitable. Put a person in his (or her) place deflate a person. Take place occur. Take the place of be substituted for. placement n. [latin platea broad way]
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