A tough old cowboy told his grandson that if he wanted to live a long life, the secret was to sprinkle a little gunpowder on his oatmeal every morning. The grandson did this religiously, and lived to the age of 93.
When he died he left 14 children, 28 grandchildren, 35 great-grandchildren… and a 15-foot hole in the wall of the crematorium.
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Teacher asks the student:
"What is your aim in life?"
"To become a psychiatrist", the student replies.
"Very good", the teacher says, "Now would you please spell the word psychiatrist."
After some hesitation the student replies: "Well, I mean I want to be a doctor, sir. D-O-C-T-O-R."