The local sheriff was looking for a deputy, so Homer – who was not exactly the sharpest nail in the bucket – went in to try out for the job.
"Okay," the sheriff drawled, "Homer, what is 1 and 1?"
"11," he replied.
The sheriff thought to himself, "That"s not what I meant, but he"s right."
"What two days of the week start with the letter "T"?"
"Today and tomorrow."
He was again surprised that Homer supplied a correct answer that he had never thought of himself.
"Now Homer, listen carefully: Who killed Abraham Lincoln?"
Homer looked a little surprised himself, then thought really hard for a minute and finally admitted, "I don"t know."
"Well, why don"t you go home and work on that one for a while?"
So, Homer wandered over to the pool hall where his pals were waiting to hear the results of the interview. Homer was exultant.
"It went great! First day on the job and I"m already working on a murder case!"
card n. Plastic card from a bank etc. Authorizing the purchase of goods on credit.
- note n. Note with a specific monetary value given by a shop etc. For goods returned.
- rating n. Estimate of a person's suitability for commercial credit.
- —n. - source of honour, pride, etc. (is a credit to the school).
- acknowledgement of merit.
- good reputation.
- belief or trust.
- a person's financial standing, esp. As regards money in the bank etc. B power to obtain goods etc. Before payment.
- (usu. In pl.) Acknowledgement of a contributor's services to a film etc.
- grade above pass in an examination.
- reputation for solvency and honesty in business.
- a entry in an account of a sum paid into it. B sum entered. C side of an account recording such entries. 10 educational course counting towards a degree. —v. (-t-) 1 believe (cannot credit it).
- (usu. Foll. By to, with) enter on the credit side of an account. credit a person with ascribe (a good quality) to a person. Do credit to (or do a person credit) enhance the reputation of. On credit with an arrangement to pay later. To one's credit in one's favour. [italian or latin: related to *credo]
CREEPY
adj. (-ier, -iest) colloq. Feeling or causing horror or fear. creepily adv. Creepiness n.
CREOLE
—n. - a descendant of european settlers in the w. Indies or central or s. America. B white descendant of french settlers in the southern us. C person of mixed european and black descent.
- language formed from a european language and another (esp. African) language. —adj. - of creoles.
- (usu. Creole) of creole origin etc. (creole cooking). [french from spanish]
CRETIN
n. - deformed and mentally retarded person, esp. As the result of thyroid deficiency.
- colloq. Stupid person. cretinism n. Cretinous adj. [french cretin: related to *christian]
CREWEL
n. Thin worsted yarn for tapestry and embroidery. [origin unknown]
CRIKEY
int. Slang expression of astonishment. [from *christ]
CRINGE
v. (-ging) 1 shrink in fear; cower.
- (often foll. By to) behave obsequiously. [related to *crank]
CRISIS
n. (pl. Crises) 1 time of danger or great difficulty.
