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Funny jokes

The general went out to find that none of his GIs were there. One finally ran up, panting heavily.
"Sorry, sir! I can explain, you see I had a date and it ran a little late. I ran to the bus but missed it, I hailed a cab but it broke down, found a farm, bought a horse but it dropped dead, ran 10 miles, and now I"m here."
The general was very skeptical about this explanation but at least he was here so he let the G.I. go.
Moments later, eight more GIs came up to the general panting, he asked them why they were late.
"Sorry, sir! I had a date and it ran a little late, I ran to the bus but missed it, I hailed a cab but it broke down, found a farm, bought a horse but it dropped dead, ran 10 miles, and now I"m here."
The general eyed them, feeling very skeptical but since he let the first guy go, he let them go, too.
A ninth GI jogged up to the general, panting heavily. "Sorry, sir! I had a date and it ran a little late, I ran to the bus but missed it, I hailed a cab but..."
"Let me guess," the general interrupted, "it broke down."
"No," said the G.I., "there were so many dead horses in the road, it took forever to get around them."

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Freeform crossword №14: TRAP-DOOR SPIDER

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ACROSS:
1. American spider that constructs a silk-lined nest with a hinged lid
8. Expresses agreement or acceptance
9. Informal term for money
10. Be or do something to a greater degree
12. Fish eggs or egg-filled ovary; having a grainy texture
13. From, usually as "to and fro"
14. Garments designed to be worn in bed
16. Of long duration; not new
17. Degree to which a person or party is likely to attract votes in an election
19. Either of two folds of skin that can be moved to cover or open the eye
20. A United Nations agency to promote trade by increasing the exchange stability of the major currencies
21. Used as a greeting
22. Young of domestic cattle
24. (of meaning) capable of being penetrated or comprehended
27. The normal temperature of room in which people live
31. A radioactive transuranic metallic element; discovered by bombarding uranium with helium atoms
32. A scented lozenge used to sweeten the breath (e.g. to conceal the odour of tobacco)
34. Lacking in body or vigour
35. A swaggering tough; usually one acting as an agent of a political faction
36. Used as a greeting
DOWN:
1. Involving or resulting from thermoelectricity
2. Add to the very end
3. With little or no preparation or forethought
4. A water-resistant coat
5. A planographic printing process using plates made from a photographic image
6. A long narrow excavation in the earth
7. A protective covering that covers or forms the top of a building
11. Make small marks into the surface of
15. A newt in its terrestrial stage of development
18. In an ethereal manner
20. Introduces a conditional clause
23. The Tai language of a Buddhist people living in the area of the Mekong River in Thailand and Laos
25. Any projection that is thought to resemble a human arm
26. In a blunt direct manner
28. A speedometer reading for the momentary rate of travel
29. A region beyond the suburbs of a city, often inhabited by well-to-do families
30. An argument in favour of a proposal
33. An associate degree in nursing

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Random puzzles:
Crossword puzzle №8: ANIMALS
Cryptic crossword №37: SUPERHERO
American crossword №62: FAMILY TREE
Freeform crossword №4: POTATO
Crossword puzzle №9: CANYONS
Cryptic crossword №38: SLALOM
American crossword №63: ON TOP OF THE WORLD
Freeform crossword №5: ROCAMBOLE
Crossword puzzle №10: SKY
Cryptic crossword №39: PHANTOM
American crossword №64: PRIVATE SCHOOL
Freeform crossword №6: FAITHFUL



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< Administrator > 15.07.18
Freeform crossword №14: TRAP-DOOR SPIDER
Size of crossword: 16х16

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Mosquitoes are attracted to the color blue twice as much as to any other color.

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