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There was an Scotsman, an Englishman and Claudia Schiffer sitting together in a carriage in a train going through Wales. Suddenly the train went through a tunnel and as it was an old style train,there were no lights in the carriages and it went completely dark. Then there was this kissing noise and the sound of a really loud slap. When the train came out of the tunnel, Claudia Schiffer and the Scotsman were sitting as if nothing had happened and the Englishman had his hand against his face as he had been slapped.
The Englishman was thinking: ‘The Scottish fella must have kissed Claudia Schiffer and she missed him and slapped me instead.’ Claudia Schiffer was thinking: ‘The English fella must have tried to kiss me and actually kissed the Scotsman and got slapped for it.’ And the Scotsman was thinking: ‘This is great. The next time the train goes through a tunnel I’ll make that kissing noise and slap that English btard again.

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American crossword №70: SELF-EMPLOYMENT

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ACROSS:
1. Having more than one decidedly dissimilar aspects or qualities
5. A cricket or grasshopper
10. Group of people related by blood or marriage
14. Leaf or strip from a leaf of the talipot palm used in India for writing paper
15. Set in motion, start an event or prepare the way for
16. Of the highest quality
17. On that
18. Excessively fat
19. An international organization created in 1949 by the North Atlantic Treaty for purposes of collective security
20. The button-shaped top of the mescal cactus containing hallucinogenic compounds
23. Any of various plants of the genus Senna having pinnately compound leaves and showy usually yellow flowers; many are used medicinally
24. A situation in golf where an opponent's ball blocks the line between your ball and the hole
25. Select as an alternative over another
27. A strong tightly twisted cotton thread (usually made of long-staple cotton)
31. Bright and pleasant; promoting a feeling of cheer
34. A system of electronic equipment for recording or reproducing sound
39. The chief executive department of the United States government
41. Life-breath, life principle, or life force in Hindu teachings
42. Two or more draft animals that work together to pull something
43. English nurse remembered for her work during the Crimean War (1820-1910)
46. Give what is desired or needed, especially support, food or sustenance
47. British composer of choral and orchestral works including two symphonies as well as songs and chamber music and music for brass band (1857-1934)
48. Explosive consisting of a yellow crystalline compound that is a flammable toxic derivative of toluene
50. Examine or consider with attention and in detail
55. A percussion instrument similar to a xylophone but having metal bars and rotating disks in the resonators that produce a vibrato sound
59. Working for oneself, as being an independent contractor
62. A city in Arizona just to the east of Phoenix; originally a suburb of Phoenix
63. At right angles to the length of a ship or aeroplane
64. Of the colour intermediate between green and violet; having a colour similar to that of a clear unclouded sky
65. Small dark purple fruit of the açaí palm of South America; often used in smoothies and health drinks for its nutritional and antioxidant properties
66. A rugged box (usually made of wood); used for shipping
67. A republic consisting of 26 of 32 counties comprising the island of Ireland; achieved independence from the United Kingdom in 1921
68. Hit something or somebody as if with a sandbag
69. Understood in a certain way; made sense of
70. United States journalist who reported on the October Revolution from Petrograd in 1917; founded the Communist Labor Party in America in 1919; is buried in the Kremlin in Moscow (1887-1920)
DOWN:
1. Decree or designate beforehand
2. The inner and longer of the two bones of the human forearm
3. Be or come into adjustment with
4. A native of Latin America
5. Take by theft
6. A puzzle where you decode a message consisting of pictures representing syllables and words
7. That is to say; in other words
8. Extravagantly demonstrative
9. The male reproductive cell; the male gamete
10. Someone paddling a canoe
11. A rich soil consisting of a mixture of sand and clay and decaying organic materials
12. Social insect living in organized colonies; characteristically the males and fertile queen have wings during breeding season; wingless sterile females are the workers
13. New, revised new version
21. A top (as for a bottle)
22. Coated or covered with oil
26. A lightweight hat worn in tropical countries for protection from the sun
28. The distance covered by a step
29. Faithful and true
30. An annual award by the Academy of Television Arts and Sciences for outstanding achievements in television
31. (genetics) a segment of DNA that is involved in producing a polypeptide chain; it can include regions preceding and following the coding DNA as well as introns between the exons; it is considered a unit of heredity
32. The upper angle between an axis and an offshoot such as a branch or leafstalk
33. A thief who enters a building with intent to steal
35. A large pot for making coffee or tea
36. Worry persistently
37. (biochemistry) a long linear polymer found in the nucleus of a cell and formed from nucleotides and shaped like a double helix; associated with the transmission of genetic information
38. The taste experience when common salt is taken into the mouth
40. A clergyman ministering to some institution
44. (Judaism) not conforming to dietary laws
45. Be envious of; set one's heart on
49. A post made of wood
51. Act against or in opposition to
52. A region of complete shadow resulting from total obstruction of light
53. Express in speech
54. Fill with high spirits; fill with optimism
56. Represent falsely
57. Cause to accept or become hardened to; habituate
58. (literary) a spirited horse for state or war
59. A dissenting clique
60. (Old Testament) the eldest son of Isaac who would have inherited the covenant that God made with Abraham and that Abraham passed on to Isaac; he traded his birthright to his twin brother Jacob for a mess of pottage
61. A sign of something about to happen
62. Informal term for a mother

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Random puzzles:
Crossword puzzle №10: SKY
Cryptic crossword №23: ICE-SKATER
American crossword №68: RAILROAD STATION
Freeform crossword №7: WEATHERPROOFING
Crossword puzzle №11: SCIENCE
Cryptic crossword №24: TIME SIGNATURE
American crossword №69: SWIMMING
Freeform crossword №8: HURRICANE LAMP
Crossword puzzle №12: BOOMERANG
Cryptic crossword №25: PLASTIC ART
American crossword №70: SELF-EMPLOYMENT
Freeform crossword №9: PSYCHOLINGUISTICS



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< Administrator > 16.09.06
American crossword №70: SELF-EMPLOYMENT
Size of crossword: 15х15

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