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Funny jokes

The local sheriff was looking for a deputy, so Homer – who was not exactly the sharpest nail in the bucket – went in to try out for the job.
"Okay," the sheriff drawled, "Homer, what is 1 and 1?"
"11," he replied.
The sheriff thought to himself, "That"s not what I meant, but he"s right."
"What two days of the week start with the letter "T"?"
"Today and tomorrow."
He was again surprised that Homer supplied a correct answer that he had never thought of himself.
"Now Homer, listen carefully: Who killed Abraham Lincoln?"
Homer looked a little surprised himself, then thought really hard for a minute and finally admitted, "I don"t know."
"Well, why don"t you go home and work on that one for a while?"
So, Homer wandered over to the pool hall where his pals were waiting to hear the results of the interview. Homer was exultant.
"It went great! First day on the job and I"m already working on a murder case!"

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American crossword №41: DISINTERESTED

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ACROSS:
1. A Kwa language spoken by the Ewe in Ghana and Togo and Benin
4. A roll of tobacco for smoking
9. Out of fashion
14. Elongate European surface-dwelling predacious fishes with long toothed jaws; abundant in coastal waters
15. The act of using
16. The Dhegiha dialect spoken by the Omaha
17. Long and light rowing boat; especially for racing
18. Battleship that has big guns all of the same calibre
20. Resembling an egg in shape; egg-shaped
22. Other than what is under consideration or implied
23. Causing irritation or annoyance
26. Oval reproductive body of a fowl (especially a hen) used as food
29. The fatty flesh of eel; an elongate fish found in fresh water in Europe and America; large eels are usually smoked or pickled
30. A long thin implement made of metal or wood
32. Strike sharply
33. Denotes a state or condition, belief or principle
35. Garlic mayonnaise
36. A period marked by distinctive character or reckoned from a fixed point or event
37. Unaffected by self-interest
41. Call upon in supplication; entreat
42. No person
43. (biochemistry) a long linear polymer of nucleotides found in the nucleus but mainly in the cytoplasm of a cell where it is associated with microsomes; it transmits genetic information from DNA to the cytoplasm and controls certain chemical processes in the cell
44. A bachelor's degree in nursing
45. United States painter noted for his woodcuts (1882-1971)
46. Flower arrangement consisting of a circular band of foliage or flowers for ornamental purposes
48. Having an outer covering especially of thin metal
50. Fit together exactly, of identical shapes
55. Commonly the lowest moulding at the base of a column
57. A combination or blend of diverse things
58. A suction pump used to remove the contents of the stomach
62. The United Nations agency concerned with the interests of labour
63. Worn or shabby from overuse or (of pages) from having corners turned down
64. Predatory black-and-white toothed whale with large dorsal fin; common in cold seas
65. (often followed by 'of') a large number, amount or extent
66. A bottomless gulf or pit; any unfathomable (or apparently unfathomable) cavity or chasm or void extending below (often used figuratively)
67. A man who is a stupid incompetent fool
68. The compass point midway between northeast and east
DOWN:
1. Urge on; cause to act
2. Do without or cease to hold or adhere to
3. A plant disease caused by the ergot fungus
4. Move or arrange oneself in a comfortable and cosy position
5. Jewish republic in southwestern Asia at eastern end of Mediterranean; formerly part of Palestine
6. A Gaelic-speaking Celt in Ireland, Scotland or the Isle of Man
7. Title for a civil or military leader (especially in Turkey)
8. Characterized by violence or bloodshed
9. An excavation that is (usually) filled with water
10. Make (somebody) laugh
11. The colour of sage leaves
12. Be silent
13. Take in solid food
19. A sharp pointed implement (usually steel)
21. A small part that can be considered separately from the whole
24. The hemisphere that includes Eurasia and Africa and Australia
25. English philosopher (1873-1958)
27. Policeman or policewoman
28. A health resort near a spring or at the seaside
31. A female person who has the same parents as another person
33. An ideal instance; a perfect embodiment of a concept
34. Someone who signs and is bound by a document
35. Turn away from sin or do penitence
38. A liquid used for printing, writing or drawing
39. Of or associated with or requiring the use of the mind
40. A note that alternates rapidly with another note a semitone above it
41. British public service broadcaster, one of the largest news organizations in the world, providing television, radio and other services in the UK as well as internationally and online
46. The lower and stouter of the two glumes immediately enclosing the floret in most Gramineae
47. Become later by the passage of a given amount of time
49. Informal term for a human head
51. Cheek, impertinence
52. Moving quickly and lightly
53. A sharp hooked claw especially on a bird of prey
54. Give expression or emotion to, in a stage or movie role
56. A unit of absorbed ionizing radiation equal to 100 ergs per gram of irradiated material
58. A division of an ocean or a large body of salt water partially enclosed by land
59. The bill in a restaurant
60. Take greedily; take more than one's share
61. Before, prior to

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Random puzzles:
Crossword puzzle №19: CRYOGENICS
Cryptic crossword №17: DIESEL ENGINE
American crossword №77: POMADE
Freeform crossword №4: POTATO
Crossword puzzle №20: FOUNTAIN
Cryptic crossword №18: HOME FROM HOME
American crossword №78: CHARLES DICKENS
Freeform crossword №5: ROCAMBOLE
Crossword puzzle №21: AUTUMN
Cryptic crossword №19: UNEXCEPTIONABLE
American crossword №79: ATLAS
Freeform crossword №6: FAITHFUL



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< Administrator > 16.08.08
American crossword №41: DISINTERESTED
Size of crossword: 15х15

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Interesting facts

Every night, wasps bite into the stem of a plant, lock their mandibles (jaws) into position, stretch out at right angles to the stem, and, with legs dangling, fall asleep.

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