A police officer pulls over this guy who had been weaving in and out of the lanes. He goes up to the guy"s window and says, "Sir, I need you to blow into this breathalyzer tube."
The man says, "Sorry officer, I can"t do that. I am an asthmatic. If I do that I"ll have a really bad asthma attack."
"Okay, fine. I need you to come down to the station to give a blood sample."
"I can"t do that either. I am a hemophiliac. If I do that, I"ll bleed to death."
"Well, then we need an urine sample."
"I"m sorry, officer, I can"t do that either. I am also a diabetic. If I do that I"ll get really low blood sugar."
"All right then I need you to come out here and walk this white line."
"I can"t do that, officer."
"Why not?"
"Because I"m too drunk to do that!"
—v. (using) 1 cause to act or serve for a purpose; bring into service.
- treat in a specified manner (used him shamefully).
- exploit for one's own ends.
- did or had habitually (i used to drink; it used not (or did not use) to rain so often).
- (as used adj.) Second-hand.
- (as used predic. Adj.) (foll. By to) familiar by habit; accustomed (used to hard work). —n. - using or being used.
- right or power of using (lost the use of his legs).
- benefit, advantage (a torch would be of use; it's no use talking).
- custom or usage (established by long use). have no use for 1 not need.
- dislike, be contemptuous of. In use being used. Make use of 1 use.
- benefit from. Out of use not being used. Use up 1 consume completely.
- find a use for (leftovers etc.). [french us, user, ultimately from latin utor us-]
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