In a psychiatrist’s waiting room two patients are having a conversation.
One says to the other, "Why are you here?"
The second answers, "I’m Napoleon, so the doctor told me to come here."
The first is curious and asks, "How do you know that you’re Napoleon?"
The second responds, "God told me I was."
At this point, a patient on the other side of the room shouts, "NO I DIDN’T!"
Crocodiles and alligators are surprisingly fast on land. Although they are rapid, they are not agile; so if you ever find yourself chased by one, run in a zigzag line. You"ll lose him or her every time.