A man and a woman got married, and he told her: "Since you are my wife you should respect my traditions and habits... and I have 3 traditions.
So, first tradition: on Wednesdays I play football with my friends... no matter what.. whether it snows or it rains... I dont care.. I play football!! Is it clear for you?" - husband asks his wife.
"Yes, sure," - she answers.
"So, the second tradition... On Fridays I play poker with my friends, no matter what, I play poker!!
Is it clear for you?" - he asks.
"Yes, sure," - she answers.
"The third tradition... On Sundays I go fishing, no matter what, I go fishing...whether it snows or it rains... I go fishing!!!
Is it clear for you?" - he asks.
"Yes, sure," - she answers.
"Any objections?" - he asks.
"No, I understand," - his wife answers.
"Maybe you have your own traditions?" - he asks.
She thought for a while and said: "Well, I have, but only one... every night at 10p.m. I have sex... whether I have my husband beside me, or I dont have ... I don’t care.. I have sex!!!"
—v. - provide with the means towards what is needed or sought (helped me with my work; helped me (to) pay my debts; helped him on with his coat).
- (often absol.) Be of use or service to (does that help?).
- contribute to alleviating (a pain or difficulty).
- prevent or remedy (it can't be helped).
- (usu. With neg.) A refrain from (can't help it; could not help laughing). B refl. Refrain from acting (couldn't help himself).
- (often foll. By to) serve (a person with food). —n. - helping or being helped (need your help; came to our help).
- person or thing that helps.
- colloq. Domestic assistant or assistance.
- remedy or escape (there is no help for it). help oneself (often foll. By to) 1 serve oneself (with food etc.).
- take without permission. Help a person out give a person help, esp. In difficulty. helper n. [old english]
- —v. - provide with the means towards what is needed or sought (helped me with my work; helped me (to) pay my debts; helped him on with his coat).
- (often absol.) Be of use or service to (does that help?).
- contribute to alleviating (a pain or difficulty).
- prevent or remedy (it can't be helped).
- (usu. With neg.) A refrain from (can't help it; could not help laughing). B refl. Refrain from acting (couldn't help himself).
- (often foll. By to) serve (a person with food). —n. - helping or being helped (need your help; came to our help).
- person or thing that helps.
- colloq. Domestic assistant or assistance.
- remedy or escape (there is no help for it). help oneself (often foll. By to) 1 serve oneself (with food etc.).
- take without permission. Help a person out give a person help, esp. In difficulty. helper n. [old english]
- —v. - provide with the means towards what is needed or sought (helped me with my work; helped me (to) pay my debts; helped him on with his coat).
- (often absol.) Be of use or service to (does that help?).
- contribute to alleviating (a pain or difficulty).
- prevent or remedy (it can't be helped).
- (usu. With neg.) A refrain from (can't help it; could not help laughing). B refl. Refrain from acting (couldn't help himself).
- (often foll. By to) serve (a person with food). —n. - helping or being helped (need your help; came to our help).
- person or thing that helps.
- colloq. Domestic assistant or assistance.
- remedy or escape (there is no help for it). help oneself (often foll. By to) 1 serve oneself (with food etc.).
- take without permission. Help a person out give a person help, esp. In difficulty. helper n.
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