There was an Scotsman, an Englishman and Claudia Schiffer sitting together in a carriage in a train going through Wales. Suddenly the train went through a tunnel and as it was an old style train,there were no lights in the carriages and it went completely dark. Then there was this kissing noise and the sound of a really loud slap. When the train came out of the tunnel, Claudia Schiffer and the Scotsman were sitting as if nothing had happened and the Englishman had his hand against his face as he had been slapped.
The Englishman was thinking: ‘The Scottish fella must have kissed Claudia Schiffer and she missed him and slapped me instead.’ Claudia Schiffer was thinking: ‘The English fella must have tried to kiss me and actually kissed the Scotsman and got slapped for it.’ And the Scotsman was thinking: ‘This is great. The next time the train goes through a tunnel I’ll make that kissing noise and slap that English btard again.
cathedra adj. & adv. With full authority (esp. Of a papal pronouncement). [latin, = from the chair]
- gratia —adv. As a favour; not from (esp. Legal) obligation. —attrib. Adj. Granted on this basis. [latin, = from favour]
- officio adv. & attrib. Adj. By virtue of one's office. [latin]
- post facto adj. & adv. With retrospective action or force. [latin, = in the light of subsequent events]
- prefix (also before some consonants e-, ef- before f) 1 forming verbs meaning: a out, forth (exclude; exit). B upward (extol). C thoroughly (excruciate). D bring into a state (exasperate). E remove or free from (expatriate; exonerate).
- forming nouns from titles of office, status, etc., meaning ‘formerly’ (ex-president; ex-wife). [latin from ex out of]
- prep. (of goods) sold from (ex-works). [latin, = out of]
- n. Colloq. Former husband or wife. [see *ex-1 2]
