There was an Scotsman, an Englishman and Claudia Schiffer sitting together in a carriage in a train going through Wales. Suddenly the train went through a tunnel and as it was an old style train,there were no lights in the carriages and it went completely dark. Then there was this kissing noise and the sound of a really loud slap. When the train came out of the tunnel, Claudia Schiffer and the Scotsman were sitting as if nothing had happened and the Englishman had his hand against his face as he had been slapped.
The Englishman was thinking: ‘The Scottish fella must have kissed Claudia Schiffer and she missed him and slapped me instead.’ Claudia Schiffer was thinking: ‘The English fella must have tried to kiss me and actually kissed the Scotsman and got slapped for it.’ And the Scotsman was thinking: ‘This is great. The next time the train goes through a tunnel I’ll make that kissing noise and slap that English btard again.
n. Corner or recess; secluded place. [origin unknown]
NOON
n. Twelve o'clock in the day, midday. [latin nona (hora) ninth (hour): originally = 3 p.m.]
NORM
n. - standard, pattern, or type.
- standard amount of work etc.
- customary behaviour etc. [latin norma carpenter's square]
NORN
n. Any of three goddesses of destiny in scandinavian mythology. [old norse]
NOSE
—n. - organ above the mouth of a human or animal, used for smelling and breathing.
- a sense of smell. B ability to detect a particular thing (a nose for scandal).
- odour or perfume of wine etc.
- front end or projecting part of a thing, e.g. Of a car or aircraft. —v. (-sing) 1 (usu. Foll. By about, around, etc.) Pry or search.
- (often foll. By out) a perceive the smell of, discover by smell. B detect.
- thrust one's nose against or into.
- make one's way cautiously forward. by a nose by a very narrow margin.
NOSH
slang —v. Eat. —n. - food or drink.
- us snack. [yiddish]
NOSY
adj. (-ier, -iest) colloq. Inquisitive, prying. nosily adv. Nosiness n.
- parker n. Colloq. Busybody.
NOTE
—n. - brief written record as an aid to memory (often in pl.: make notes).
- observation, usu. Unwritten, of experiences etc. (compare notes).
- short or informal letter.
- formal diplomatic communication.
- short annotation or additional explanation in a book etc.
- a = *banknote. B written promise of payment.
- a notice, attention (worthy of note). B eminence (person of note).
- a single musical tone of definite pitch. B written sign representing its pitch and duration. C key of a piano etc.
- quality or tone of speaking, expressing mood or attitude etc. (note of optimism). —v. (-ting) 1 observe, notice; give attention to.
- (often foll. By down) record as a thing to be remembered or observed.
- (in passive; often foll. By for) be well known. hit (or strike) the right note speak or act in exactly the right manner. [latin nota mark (n.), noto mark (v.)]
NOUN
n. Word used to name a person, place, or thing. [latin nomen name]
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