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Funny jokes

A man goes into a pet shop to buy a parrot.
The shop owner points to three identically looking parrots on a perch and says:
"The parrot on the left costs $500."
"Why does the parrot cost so much?", asks the guest.
The owner says,
"Well, the parrot knows how to use a computer."
The man then asks about the next parrot. He is told that this one costs $1000, because it can do everything the other parrot can do, plus it knows how to use the UNIX operating system.
Naturally, the increasingly startled man asks about the third parrot. He is told that it costs $2000. Needless to say this begs the question,
"What can it do?"
To which the owner replies,
"To be honest I have never seen it do a thing, but the other two call him boss!"

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Free online american crossword puzzle
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American crossword №3: SHADOWER

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ACROSS:
1. The ability to contract or draw together soft body tissues to check blood flow or restrict secretion of fluids
8. Active; lively; brisk
13. A dramatic surprise
14. Indicating the most important performer or role
16. During an early stage
17. Cassava root eaten as a staple food after drying and leaching; source of tapioca
18. An abstract part of something
19. Serving during an intermediate interval of time
20. English chemist who was a pioneer in electrochemistry and who used it to isolate elements sodium and potassium and barium and boron and calcium and magnesium and chlorine (1778-1829)
21. (psychoanalysis) the conscious mind
22. To wash or wipe with or as if with a mop
23. Elegant and stylish
25. A person who drinks alcohol to excess habitually
27. An extension at the end and at right angles to the main building
28. While absent; although absent
31. Suffer or face the pain of death
32. A gradation involving small or imperceptible differences between grades
33. A central management agency that sets Federal policy for Federal procurement and real property management and information resources management
36. A shade of green tinged with yellow
40. I shall; I will
41. A prescribed selection of foods
42. Open to or abounding in fresh air
44. A sharp prod fixed to a rider's heel and used to urge a horse onward
45. A person active in party politics
46. A hemispherical roof
47. Subdue, restrain, or overcome by affecting with a feeling of awe; frighten (as with threats)
49. Someone who offers opposition
52. The number of lines in a piece of printed material
53. The state of being actual or real
54. Someone employed in a stable to take care of the horses
55. Spanish guitarist who made classical guitar a concert instrument (1893-1987)
56. Not mixed with extraneous elements
57. The quality of being united into one
DOWN:
1. (literary) a spirited horse for state or war
2. Large egg-shaped structures of grey matter that form the dorsal subdivision of the diencephalon
3. Capital of Armenia
4. Tall fan palm of Africa and India and Malaysia yielding a hard wood and sweet sap that is a source of palm wine and sugar; leaves used for thatching and weaving
5. An infection of the sebaceous gland of the eyelid
6. Implement used to brand live stock
7. 100 senti equal 1 kroon in Estonia
8. A sauce typically served with pasta; contains crushed basil leaves and garlic and pine nuts and Parmesan cheese in olive oil
9. (usually used with `or') if not, then
10. Having an alarm fitted
11. Small circular or square cases of dough with savoury fillings
12. Walk heavily or roughly
14. A person with advanced knowledge of one or more sciences
15. Dance a tango
24. A tablespoonful
25. Incapable of being wearied
26. (of pop groups) not affiliated with a major recording company
29. A spy employed to follow someone and report their movements
30. A city in northern India; former capital of the Mogul empire; site of the Taj Mahal
33. A man who has sex with and is supported by a woman
34. Blindly imitative
35. Of pasta cooked so as to be firm when eaten
37. An image or representation of an idea; a representation of an ideal form; an apparition of some actual or imaginary entity, or of some aspect of reality
38. Wearing away by friction
39. Something causing misery or death
43. The deep vascular inner layer of the skin
45. An electronic device that generates a series of beeps when the person carrying it is being paged
48. A rapid series of short loud sounds (as might be heard with a stethoscope in some types of respiratory disorders)
49. (of quantities) imprecise but fairly close to correct
50. The part of a hammerhead opposite the flat striking surface (may have various shapes)
51. United States diplomat and writer about the Old South (1853-1922)

Random puzzles:

 
  • Crossword puzzle №15: ZEBRA
  • Crossword puzzle №16: LACE DOILY
  • Crossword puzzle №17: FLASH
  • Cryptic crossword №31: PEREGRINE FALCON
  • Cryptic crossword №32: MECHANISM
  • Cryptic crossword №33: NOBLEMAN
  • American crossword №50: STREET FIGHTER
  • American crossword №51: PSYCHOANALYSIS
  • American crossword №52: ROCKET LAUNCHER
  • Freeform crossword №5: ROCAMBOLE
  • Freeform crossword №6: FAITHFUL
  • Freeform crossword №7: WEATHERPROOFING
 

Random puzzles:
Crossword puzzle №15: ZEBRA
Cryptic crossword №31: PEREGRINE FALCON
American crossword №50: STREET FIGHTER
Freeform crossword №5: ROCAMBOLE
Crossword puzzle №16: LACE DOILY
Cryptic crossword №32: MECHANISM
American crossword №51: PSYCHOANALYSIS
Freeform crossword №6: FAITHFUL
Crossword puzzle №17: FLASH
Cryptic crossword №33: NOBLEMAN
American crossword №52: ROCKET LAUNCHER
Freeform crossword №7: WEATHERPROOFING



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< Administrator > 15.06.17
American crossword №3: SHADOWER
Size of crossword: 15х15

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A giraffe can clean its ears with its 21-inch tongue.

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