A police officer pulls over this guy who had been weaving in and out of the lanes. He goes up to the guy"s window and says, "Sir, I need you to blow into this breathalyzer tube."
The man says, "Sorry officer, I can"t do that. I am an asthmatic. If I do that I"ll have a really bad asthma attack."
"Okay, fine. I need you to come down to the station to give a blood sample."
"I can"t do that either. I am a hemophiliac. If I do that, I"ll bleed to death."
"Well, then we need an urine sample."
"I"m sorry, officer, I can"t do that either. I am also a diabetic. If I do that I"ll get really low blood sugar."
"All right then I need you to come out here and walk this white line."
"I can"t do that, officer."
"Why not?"
"Because I"m too drunk to do that!"
n. Fibre from the inner bark of a tree (esp. The lime). [old english]
BATH
bun n. Round spiced bun with currants, often iced. [bath in s. England]
- chair n. Wheelchair for invalids.
- cube n. Cube of soluble substance for scenting or softening bath-water.
- salts n.pl. Soluble powder or crystals for scenting or softening bath-water.
- —n. (pl. -s) 1 a (usu. Plumbed-in) container for sitting in and washing the body. B its contents.
- act of washing in it (have a bath).
- (usu. In pl.) Public building with baths or a swimming-pool.
- a vessel containing liquid for immersing something, e.g. A film for developing. B its contents. —v. - wash (esp. A baby) in a bath.
- take a bath. [old english]
BATS
predic. Adj. Slang crazy. [originally pl. Of *bat2]
BAWL
v. - speak or shout noisily.
- weep loudly. bawl out colloq. Reprimand angrily. [imitative]
BEVY
n. (pl. -ies) company (of quails, larks, women, etc.). [origin unknown]
BIAS
binding n. Strip of fabric cut obliquely and used to bind edges.
- —n. - (often foll. By towards, against) predisposition or prejudice.
- statistics distortion of a statistical result due to a neglected factor.
- edge cut obliquely across the weave of a fabric.
- sport a irregular shape given to a bowl. B oblique course this causes it to run. —v. (-s- or -ss-) 1 (esp. As biased adj.) Influence (usu. Unfairly); prejudice.
- give a bias to. on the bias obliquely, diagonally. [french]
BIDE
v. (-ding) bide one's time wait for a good opportunity. [old english]
BIER
n. Movable frame on which a coffin or corpse rests. [old english]
BIFF
slang —n. Sharp blow. —v. Strike (a person). [imitative]
BIKE
colloq. —n. Bicycle or motor cycle. —v. (-king) ride a bike. biker n. [abbreviation]
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