"I have good news and bad news," the defense lawyer says to his client.
"Whats the bad news?"
The lawyer says, "Your blood matches the DNA found at the murder scene."
"Dammit!" cries the client. "What"s the good news?"
"Well," the lawyer says, "Your cholesterol is down to 140."
Crocodiles and alligators are surprisingly fast on land. Although they are rapid, they are not agile; so if you ever find yourself chased by one, run in a zigzag line. You"ll lose him or her every time.