In a psychiatrist’s waiting room two patients are having a conversation.
One says to the other, "Why are you here?"
The second answers, "I’m Napoleon, so the doctor told me to come here."
The first is curious and asks, "How do you know that you’re Napoleon?"
The second responds, "God told me I was."
At this point, a patient on the other side of the room shouts, "NO I DIDN’T!"
—v. (-tt-; past and past part. Put) 1 move to or cause to be in a specified place or position (put it in your pocket; put the children to bed).
- bring into a specified condition or state (puts me in great difficulty).
- (often foll. By on, to) impose, enforce, assign, or apply (put a tax on beer; where do you put the blame?; put a stop to it; put it to good use).
- place (a person) or (refl.) Imagine (oneself) in a specified position (put them at their ease; put yourself in my shoes).
- (foll. By for) substitute (one thing) for (another).
- express in a specified way (to put it mildly).
- (foll. By at) estimate (an amount etc.) At so much (put the cost at £50).
- (foll. By into) express or translate in (words, or another language).
- (foll. By into) invest (money in an asset, e.g. Land). 10 (foll. By on) stake (money) on (a horse etc.). 11 (foll. By to) submit for attention (put it to a vote). 12 throw (esp. A shot or weight) as a sport. 13 (foll. By back, off, out to sea, etc.) (of a ship etc.) Proceed in a specified direction. —n. Throw of the shot etc. put about 1 spread (information, a rumour, etc.).
- naut. Turn round; put (a ship) on the opposite tack. Put across 1 communicate (an idea etc.) Effectively.
- (often in put it (or one) across) achieve by deceit. Put away 1 restore (a thing) to its usual or former place.
- lay (money etc.) Aside for future use.
- imprison or commit to a home etc.
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Snails produce a colorless, sticky discharge that forms a protective carpet under them as they travel along. The discharge is so effective that they can crawl along the edge of a razor without cutting themselves.