The local sheriff was looking for a deputy, so Homer – who was not exactly the sharpest nail in the bucket – went in to try out for the job.
"Okay," the sheriff drawled, "Homer, what is 1 and 1?"
"11," he replied.
The sheriff thought to himself, "That"s not what I meant, but he"s right."
"What two days of the week start with the letter "T"?"
"Today and tomorrow."
He was again surprised that Homer supplied a correct answer that he had never thought of himself.
"Now Homer, listen carefully: Who killed Abraham Lincoln?"
Homer looked a little surprised himself, then thought really hard for a minute and finally admitted, "I don"t know."
"Well, why don"t you go home and work on that one for a while?"
So, Homer wandered over to the pool hall where his pals were waiting to hear the results of the interview. Homer was exultant.
"It went great! First day on the job and I"m already working on a murder case!"
Crocodiles and alligators are surprisingly fast on land. Although they are rapid, they are not agile; so if you ever find yourself chased by one, run in a zigzag line. You"ll lose him or her every time.