A doctor and a lawyer were attending a cocktail party when the doctor was approached by a man who asked advice on how to handle his ulcer.
The doctor mumbled some medical advice, then turned to the lawyer and asked,
"How do you handle the situation when you are asked for advice during a social function?"
"Just send a bill for such advice" replied the lawyer.
On the next morning the doctor arrived at his surgery and issued the ulcer-stricken man a $50 bill.
That afternoon he received a $100 bill from the lawyer.
—conj. - introducing a conditional clause: a on the condition or supposition that; in the event that (if he comes i will tell him; if you are tired we can rest). B (with past tense) implying that the condition is not fulfilled (if i knew i would say).
- even though (i'll finish it, if it takes me all day).
- whenever (if i am not sure i ask).
- whether (see if you can find it).
- expressing a wish, surprise, or request (if i could just try!; if it isn't my old hat!; if you wouldn't mind?). —n. Condition, supposition (too many ifs about it). if only 1 even if for no other reason than (i'll come if only to see her).
- (often ellipt.) Expression of regret; i wish that (if only i had thought of it). [old english]
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