A police officer pulls over this guy who had been weaving in and out of the lanes. He goes up to the guy"s window and says, "Sir, I need you to blow into this breathalyzer tube."
The man says, "Sorry officer, I can"t do that. I am an asthmatic. If I do that I"ll have a really bad asthma attack."
"Okay, fine. I need you to come down to the station to give a blood sample."
"I can"t do that either. I am a hemophiliac. If I do that, I"ll bleed to death."
"Well, then we need an urine sample."
"I"m sorry, officer, I can"t do that either. I am also a diabetic. If I do that I"ll get really low blood sugar."
"All right then I need you to come out here and walk this white line."
"I can"t do that, officer."
"Why not?"
"Because I"m too drunk to do that!"
—v. (3rd sing. Present goes; past went; past part. Gone) 1 a start moving or be moving from one place or point in time to another; travel, proceed. B (foll. By and + verb) colloq. Expressing annoyance (you went and told him).
- (foll. By verbal noun) make a special trip for; participate in (went skiing; goes running).
- lie or extend in a certain direction (the road goes to london).
- leave; depart (they had to go).
- move, act, work, etc. (clock doesn't go).
- a make a specified movement (go like this with your foot). B make a sound (often of a specified kind) (gun went bang; door bell went). C (of an animal) make (its characteristic cry) (the cow went ‘moo’). D colloq. Say (so he goes to me ‘why didn't you like it?’).
- be in a specified state (go hungry; went in fear of his life).
- a pass into a specified condition (gone bad; went to sleep). B colloq. Die. C proceed or escape in a specified condition (poet went unrecognized).
- (of time or distance) pass, elapse; be traversed (ten days to go before easter; the last mile went quickly). 10 a (of a document, verse, song, etc.) Have a specified content or wording (the tune goes like this). B be current or accepted (so the story goes). C be suitable; fit; match (the shoes don't go with the hat; those pinks don't go). D be regularly kept or put (the forks go here). E find room; fit (this won't go into the cupboard). 11 a turn out, proceed; take a course or view (things went well; liverpool went labour). B be successful (make the party go). 12 a be sold (went for £1; went cheap). B (of money) be spent. 13 a be relinquished or abolished (the car will have to go). B fail, decline; give way, collapse (his sight is going; the bulb has gone). 14 be acceptable or permitted; be accepted without question (anything goes; what i say goes). 15 (often foll. By by, with, on, upon) be guided by; judge or act on or in harmony with (have nothing to go on; a good rule to go by). 16 attend regularly (goes to school). 17 (foll. By pres. Part.) Colloq. Proceed (often foolishly) to do (went running to the police; don't go making him angry). 18 act or proceed to a certain point (will go so far and no further; went as high as £100). 19 (of a number) be capable of being contained in another (6 into 5 won't go). 20 (usu. Foll. By to) be allotted or awarded; pass (first prize went to the girl). 21 (foll. By to, towards) amount to; contribute to (12 inches go to make a foot; this will go towards your holiday). 22 (in imper.) Begin motion (a starter's order in a race) (ready, steady, go!). 23 (usu. Foll. By by, under) be known or called (goes by the name of droopy). 24 colloq. Proceed to (go jump in the lake). 25 (foll. By for) apply to (that goes for me too). —n. (pl. Goes) 1 mettle; animation (has a lot of go in her).
- vigorous activity (it's all go).
- colloq. Success (made a go of it).
- colloq. Turn; attempt (i'll have a go; it's my go). —adj. Colloq. Functioning properly (all systems are go). go about 1 set to work at.
- be socially active.
- (foll. By pres. Part.) Make a habit of doing. Go ahead proceed without hesitation. Go along with agree to or with. Go back on fail to keep (a promise etc.). Go begging see *beg. Go down 1 a (of an amount) become less through use (coffee has gone down). B subside (the flood went down). C decrease in price.
- a (of a ship) sink. B (of the sun) set. C (of a curtain) fall.
- deteriorate; (of a computer system etc.) Cease to function.
