There was an Scotsman, an Englishman and Claudia Schiffer sitting together in a carriage in a train going through Wales. Suddenly the train went through a tunnel and as it was an old style train,there were no lights in the carriages and it went completely dark. Then there was this kissing noise and the sound of a really loud slap. When the train came out of the tunnel, Claudia Schiffer and the Scotsman were sitting as if nothing had happened and the Englishman had his hand against his face as he had been slapped.
The Englishman was thinking: ‘The Scottish fella must have kissed Claudia Schiffer and she missed him and slapped me instead.’ Claudia Schiffer was thinking: ‘The English fella must have tried to kiss me and actually kissed the Scotsman and got slapped for it.’ And the Scotsman was thinking: ‘This is great. The next time the train goes through a tunnel I’ll make that kissing noise and slap that English btard again.
- comb. Form free of or from (worry-free; duty-free).
- enterprise n. Freedom of private business from state control.
- fall n. Movement under the force of gravity only.
- fight n. General fight in which all present join.
- hand n. Freedom to act at one's own discretion.
- house n. Public house not controlled by a brewery.
- kick n. Kick granted in football as a minor penalty.
- love n. Sexual freedom.
- market n. Market governed by unrestricted competition.
- port n. - port without customs duties.
- port open to all traders.
- radical n. Chem. Atom or group of atoms with one or more unpaired electrons.
- speech n. Right of expression.
- spirit n. Independent or uninhibited person.
- trade n. Trade without import restrictions etc.
- vote n. Parliamentary vote not subject to party discipline.
- wheel n. Driving wheel of a bicycle, able to revolve with the pedals at rest.
- will n. - power of acting independently of necessity or fate.
- ability to act without coercion (did it of my own free will).
- world n. Hist. Non-communist countries' collective name for themselves.
- —adj. (freer; freest) 1 not a slave or under another's control; having personal rights and social and political liberty.
- (of a state, its citizens, etc.) Autonomous; democratic.
- a unrestricted; not confined or fixed. B not imprisoned. C released from duties etc. D independent (free agent).
- (foll. By of, from) a exempt from (tax etc.). B not containing or subject to (free of preservatives; free from disease).
- (foll. By to + infin.) Permitted; at liberty to.
- costing nothing.
- a clear of duties etc. (am free tomorrow). B not in use (bathroom is free).
- spontaneous, unforced (free offer).
- available to all. 10 lavish (free with their money). 11 frank, unreserved. 12 (of literary style) informal, unmetrical. 13 (of translation) not literal. 14 familiar, impudent. 15 (of stories etc.) Slightly indecent. 16 chem. Not combined (free oxygen). 17 (of power or energy) disengaged, available. —adv. - freely.
- without cost or payment. —v. (frees, freed) 1 make free; liberate.
- (foll. By of, from) relieve from.
- disentangle, clear. for free colloq. Free of charge, gratis. Free on board (or rail) without charge for delivery to a ship or railway wagon. freely adv. [old english]
A cat uses whiskers to determine if a space is too small to squeeze through. The whiskers act as antennae, helping the animal to judge the precise width of any passage.
