There was an Scotsman, an Englishman and Claudia Schiffer sitting together in a carriage in a train going through Wales. Suddenly the train went through a tunnel and as it was an old style train,there were no lights in the carriages and it went completely dark. Then there was this kissing noise and the sound of a really loud slap. When the train came out of the tunnel, Claudia Schiffer and the Scotsman were sitting as if nothing had happened and the Englishman had his hand against his face as he had been slapped.
The Englishman was thinking: ‘The Scottish fella must have kissed Claudia Schiffer and she missed him and slapped me instead.’ Claudia Schiffer was thinking: ‘The English fella must have tried to kiss me and actually kissed the Scotsman and got slapped for it.’ And the Scotsman was thinking: ‘This is great. The next time the train goes through a tunnel I’ll make that kissing noise and slap that English btard again.
- a decree of a legislative body. B document attesting a legal transaction. —v. - behave (acted wisely).
- perform an action or function; take action (act as referee; brakes failed to act; he acted quickly).
- (also foll. By on) have an effect (alcohol acts on the brain).
- a perform a part in a play, film, etc. B pretend.
- a play the part of (acted othello; acts the fool). B perform (a play etc.). C portray (an incident) by actions. act for be the (esp. Legal) representative of. Act of god natural event, e.g. An earthquake. Act up colloq. Misbehave; give trouble (car is acting up). Get one's act together slang become properly organized; prepare. Put on an act colloq. Make a pretence. [latin ago act- do]
Snails produce a colorless, sticky discharge that forms a protective carpet under them as they travel along. The discharge is so effective that they can crawl along the edge of a razor without cutting themselves.
