A police officer pulls over this guy who had been weaving in and out of the lanes. He goes up to the guy"s window and says, "Sir, I need you to blow into this breathalyzer tube."
The man says, "Sorry officer, I can"t do that. I am an asthmatic. If I do that I"ll have a really bad asthma attack."
"Okay, fine. I need you to come down to the station to give a blood sample."
"I can"t do that either. I am a hemophiliac. If I do that, I"ll bleed to death."
"Well, then we need an urine sample."
"I"m sorry, officer, I can"t do that either. I am also a diabetic. If I do that I"ll get really low blood sugar."
"All right then I need you to come out here and walk this white line."
"I can"t do that, officer."
"Why not?"
"Because I"m too drunk to do that!"
v. (-king) 1 cook or become cooked by dry heat, esp. In an oven.
- colloq. (usu. As be baking) (of weather, a person, etc.) Be very hot.
- harden by heat. [old english]
BALD
adj. - lacking some or all hair on the scalp.
- lacking the usual hair, feathers, leaves, etc.
- colloq. With a worn surface (bald tyre).
- plain, direct (bald statement, style). balding adj. (in senses 1–3). Baldly adv. (in sense 4). Baldness n. [old english]
BALE
—n. Tightly bound bundle of merchandise or hay. —v. (-ling) make up into bales. bale out 1 (also bail out) (of an airman) make an emergency parachute descent.
- var. Of *bail1 v. 2. [dutch: related to *ball1]
- var. Of *bail3.
BALK
var. Of *baulk.
BALL
game n. - a game played with a ball. B us baseball game.
- esp. Us colloq. Affair; matter (a whole new ball game).
- —n. - sphere, esp. For use in a game.
- a ball-shaped object; material in the shape of a ball (ball of snow, wool). B rounded part of the body (ball of the foot).
- cannon-ball.
- single delivery or pass of a ball in cricket, baseball, football, etc.
- (in pl.) Coarse slang a testicles. B (usu. As int.) Nonsense. C = *balls-up. D courage, ‘guts’. —v. Form into a ball. balls up coarse slang bungle; make a mess of. On the ball colloq. Alert. [old norse]
- n. - formal social gathering for dancing.
- slang enjoyable time (esp. Have a ball). [greek ballo throw]
BALM
n. - aromatic ointment.
- fragrant oil or resin exuded from certain trees and plants.
- thing that heals or soothes.
- aromatic herb. [latin: related to *balsam]
BAND
—n. - flat, thin strip or loop of paper, metal, cloth, etc., put round something esp. To hold or decorate it.
- a strip of material on a garment. B stripe.
- group of esp. Non-classical musicians.
- organized group of criminals etc.
- range of frequencies, wavelengths, or values.
- belt connecting wheels or pulleys. —v. - (usu. Foll. By together) unite.
- put a band on.
- mark with stripes. [old norse (related to *bind) and french]
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