There was an Scotsman, an Englishman and Claudia Schiffer sitting together in a carriage in a train going through Wales. Suddenly the train went through a tunnel and as it was an old style train,there were no lights in the carriages and it went completely dark. Then there was this kissing noise and the sound of a really loud slap. When the train came out of the tunnel, Claudia Schiffer and the Scotsman were sitting as if nothing had happened and the Englishman had his hand against his face as he had been slapped.
The Englishman was thinking: ‘The Scottish fella must have kissed Claudia Schiffer and she missed him and slapped me instead.’ Claudia Schiffer was thinking: ‘The English fella must have tried to kiss me and actually kissed the Scotsman and got slapped for it.’ And the Scotsman was thinking: ‘This is great. The next time the train goes through a tunnel I’ll make that kissing noise and slap that English btard again.
in sheep's clothing n. Hostile person who pretends friendship.
- —n. (pl. Wolves) 1 wild animal related to the dog, usu. Hunting in packs.
- slang man who seduces women. —v. (often foll. By down) devour greedily. cry wolf raise false alarms. Keep the wolf from the door avert starvation. wolfish adj. [old english]
n. Organ of conception and gestation in a woman and other female mammals. [old english]
contr. Will not.
- —predic. Adj. Archaic or literary (foll. By to + infin.) Accustomed. —n. Formal or joc. What is customary, one's habit. [old english]
anemone n. A wild spring-flowering anemone.
- n. - a hard fibrous substance of the trunk or branches of a tree or shrub. B this for timber or fuel.
- (in sing. Or pl.) Growing trees densely occupying a tract of land.
- wooden cask for wine etc.
- wooden-headed golf club.
- = *bowl2 n. 1. not see the wood for the trees fail to grasp the main issue from over-attention to details. Out of the wood (or woods) out of danger or difficulty. [old english]
- pulp n. Wood-fibre prepared for paper-making.
—n. Gruff bark of a dog. —v. Give a woof. [imitative]
- n. = *weft 1. [old english: related to *web]
n. - fine soft wavy hair from the fleece of sheep etc.
- woollen yarn or cloth or clothing.
- wool-like substance (steel wool). pull the wool over a person's eyes deceive a person. [old english]
of mouth n. Speech (only).
- processor n. Computer program, or device incorporating a computer, used for storing text entered from a keyboard, making corrections, and providing a printout. word-process v. Word processing n.
- —n. - meaningful element of speech, usu. Shown with a space on either side of it when written or printed.
- speech, esp. As distinct from action.
- one's promise or assurance.
- (in sing. Or pl.) Thing said, remark, conversation.
- (in pl.) Text of a song or an actor's part.
- (in pl.) Angry talk (have words).
- news, message (send word).
- command (gave the word to begin). —v. Put into words; select words to express. in other words expressing the same thing differently. In so many words in those very words; explicitly. In a (or one) word briefly. My (or upon my) word exclamation of surprise etc. Take a person at his or her word interpret a person's words literally. Take a person's word for it believe a person's statement without investigation etc. The word (or word of god) the bible. Word for word in exactly the same or (of translation) corresponding words. wordless adj. [old english]
past of *wear.
camp n. Camp at which community work is done, esp. By young volunteers.
- experience n. Scheme intended to give young people temporary experience of employment.
- of art n. Fine picture, poem, building, etc.
- study n. Assessment of methods of working so as to achieve maximum productivity.
- table n. Table for working at.
- —n. - application of mental or physical effort to a purpose; use of energy.
- task to be undertaken.
- thing done or made by work; result of an action.
- employment or occupation etc., esp. As a means of earning income.
- literary or musical composition.
- actions or experiences of a specified kind (nice work!).
- (in comb.) Things made of a specified material or with specified tools etc. (ironwork; needlework).
—n. - any of various types of creeping invertebrate animals with long slender bodies and no limbs.
- larva of an insect, esp. In fruit or wood.
- (in pl.) Intestinal parasites.
- insignificant or contemptible person.
- spiral part of a screw. —v. - (often refl.) Move with a crawling motion.
- refl. (foll. By into) insinuate oneself into favour etc.
- (foll. By out) obtain (a secret etc.) By cunning persistence.