There was an Scotsman, an Englishman and Claudia Schiffer sitting together in a carriage in a train going through Wales. Suddenly the train went through a tunnel and as it was an old style train,there were no lights in the carriages and it went completely dark. Then there was this kissing noise and the sound of a really loud slap. When the train came out of the tunnel, Claudia Schiffer and the Scotsman were sitting as if nothing had happened and the Englishman had his hand against his face as he had been slapped.
The Englishman was thinking: ‘The Scottish fella must have kissed Claudia Schiffer and she missed him and slapped me instead.’ Claudia Schiffer was thinking: ‘The English fella must have tried to kiss me and actually kissed the Scotsman and got slapped for it.’ And the Scotsman was thinking: ‘This is great. The next time the train goes through a tunnel I’ll make that kissing noise and slap that English btard again.
—n. - difficulty or distress; vexation, affliction (had trouble with my car).
- a inconvenience; unpleasant exertion; bother. B cause of this (she was no trouble).
- perceived failing (the trouble with me is that i can't say no).
- dysfunction (kidney trouble; engine trouble).
- a disturbance (crowd trouble; don't want any trouble). B (in pl.) Political or social unrest, public disturbances, esp. (the troubles) in n. Ireland. —v. (-ling) 1 cause distress or anxiety to; disturb.
- be disturbed or worried (don't trouble about it).
- afflict; cause pain etc. To.
- (often refl.) Subject or be subjected to inconvenience or unpleasant exertion (sorry to trouble you; don't trouble yourself). ask (or look) for trouble colloq. Invite trouble by one's actions, behaviour, etc.; be rash or indiscreet. In trouble 1 involved in a matter likely to bring censure or punishment.
- colloq. Pregnant while unmarried. [latin: related to *turbid]
v. (-cing) 1 defeat heavily.
- beat, thrash.
- punish severely. [origin unknown]
n. - member of a theatrical troupe.
- staunch colleague.
suit n. Woman's suit of trousers and jacket.
n. Esp. Us long-distance lorry-driver.
—n. (in full truckle-bed) low bed on wheels, stored under a larger bed. —v. (-ling) (foll. By to) submit obsequiously. [latin trochlea pulley]
n. - edible rich-flavoured underground fungus.
- sweet made of a chocolate mixture covered with cocoa etc. [probably dutch from french]
—n. - brass instrument with a flared bell and bright penetrating tone.
- trumpet-shaped thing (ear-trumpet).
- sound of or like a trumpet. —v. (-t-) 1 a blow a trumpet. B (of an enraged elephant etc.) Make a trumpet-like cry.
- proclaim loudly. trumpeter n. [french diminutive: related to *trump2]
v. (-ling) roll or move, esp. Heavily or noisily. [var. Of obsolete or dial. Trendle: related to *trend]