A friend was in front of me coming out of church one day, and the preacher was standing at the door as he always is to shake hands.
He grabbed my friend by the hand and pulled him aside. Pastor said, “You need to join the Army of the Lord!”
My friend said, “I’m already in the Army of the Lord, Pastor.”
Pastor questioned, “How come I don’t see you except at Christmas and Easter?”
He whispered back, “I’m in the Secret Service.”
—n. Chirp of a small bird. —v. Make this noise. [imitative]
archaic it were. [contraction]
n. (also twirp) slang stupid or objectionable person. [origin unknown]
adv. - two times; on two occasions.
- in double degree or quantity (twice as good). [old english: related to *two]
archaic it will. [contraction]
- n. Fabric so woven as to have a surface of diagonal parallel ridges. twilled adj. [old english, = two-thread]
—n. - strong coarse string of twisted strands of fibre.
- coil, twist. —v. (-ning) 1 form (a string etc.) By twisting strands.
- weave (a garland etc.).
- (often foll. By with) garland (a brow etc.).
- (often foll. By round, about) coil or wind.
- refl. (of a plant) grow in this way. [old english]
—v. Spin, swing, or twist quickly and lightly round. —n. - twirling motion.
- flourish made with a pen. [origin uncertain]
var. Of *twerp.
—v. - a change the form of by rotating one end and not the other or the two ends in opposite directions. B undergo such a change. C wrench or pull out of shape with a twisting action (twisted my ankle).
- a wind (strands etc.) About each other. B form (a rope etc.) In this way.
- a give a spiral form to. B take a spiral form.
- (foll. By off) break off by twisting.
- misrepresent the meaning of (words).
- a take a winding course. B make (one's way) in a winding manner.
- colloq. Cheat.
- (as twisted adj.) Derog. (of a person or mind) neurotic; perverted.
- dance the twist. —n. - act of twisting.
- twisted state.
- thing formed by twisting.
- point at which a thing twists or bends.
- usu. Derog. Peculiar tendency of mind or character etc.
- unexpected development of events, esp. In a story etc.
- (prec. By the) popular 1960s dance with a twisting movement of the hips. round the twist slang crazy. Twist a person's arm colloq. Coerce, esp. Using moral pressure. Twist round one's finger easily persuade or dominate (a person). twisty adj. (-ier, -iest). [related to *twin, *twine]