There was an Scotsman, an Englishman and Claudia Schiffer sitting together in a carriage in a train going through Wales. Suddenly the train went through a tunnel and as it was an old style train,there were no lights in the carriages and it went completely dark. Then there was this kissing noise and the sound of a really loud slap. When the train came out of the tunnel, Claudia Schiffer and the Scotsman were sitting as if nothing had happened and the Englishman had his hand against his face as he had been slapped.
The Englishman was thinking: ‘The Scottish fella must have kissed Claudia Schiffer and she missed him and slapped me instead.’ Claudia Schiffer was thinking: ‘The English fella must have tried to kiss me and actually kissed the Scotsman and got slapped for it.’ And the Scotsman was thinking: ‘This is great. The next time the train goes through a tunnel I’ll make that kissing noise and slap that English btard again.
n. Characteristic. [latin tractus: related to *tract1]
—v. - a walk heavily and firmly. B go on foot, esp. A distance.
- a cross on foot, esp. Wearily or reluctantly. B cover (a distance) in this way.
- (often foll. By down) tread on; trample; stamp on.
- live as a tramp. —n. - itinerant vagrant or beggar.
- sound of a person, or esp. People, walking, marching, etc.
- long walk.
- slang derog. Promiscuous woman. [germanic]
prefix 1 across, beyond.
- on or to the other side of.
- through. [latin]
can n. Us dustbin.
- —n. - esp. Us worthless or waste stuff; rubbish.
- worthless person or persons. —v. Slang wreck, vandalize. trashy adj. (-ier, -iest). [origin unknown]
—v. - fish with a trawl or seine.
- a catch by trawling. B (often foll. By through) search thoroughly (trawled her memory for their names). —n. - act of trawling.
- (in full trawl-net) large wide-mouthed fishing-net dragged by a boat along the sea bottom. [probably dutch traghel drag-net]
—v. (past trod; past part. Trodden or trod) 1 (often foll. By on) set down one's foot; walk, step.
- a walk on. B (often foll. By down) press or crush with the feet.
- perform (steps etc.) By walking.
- (often foll. By in, into) press down into the ground with the feet (trod dirt into the carpet). —n. - manner or sound of walking.
- top surface of a step or stair.
- thick moulded part of a vehicle tyre for gripping the road.
- a part of a wheel that touches the ground or rail. B part of a rail that the wheels touch.
- part of the sole of a shoe that rests on the ground. tread the boards be an actor. Tread on air feel elated. Tread on a person's toes offend a person; encroach on a person's privileges etc. Tread water maintain an upright position in water by moving the feet and hands. [old english]
—v. - act or behave towards or deal with (a person or thing) in a certain way (treated me kindly; treat it as a joke).
- apply a process to (treat it with acid).
- apply medical care or attention to.
- present or deal with (a subject) in literature or art.
- (often foll. By to) provide with food, drink, or entertainment at one's own expense (treated us to dinner).
- (often foll. By with) negotiate terms (with a person).
- (often foll. By of) give a spoken or written exposition. —n. - event or circumstance (esp. When unexpected or unusual) that gives great pleasure.
- meal, entertainment, etc., designed to do this.
- (prec. By a) extremely good or well (they looked a treat; has come on a treat). treatable adj. [latin tracto handle]
—n. General direction and tendency (esp. Of events, fashion, or opinion). —v. - bend or turn away in a specified direction.
- have a general tendency. [old english]
n. - long lock of human (esp. Female) hair.
- (in pl.) Woman's or girl's head of hair. [french]
n.pl. Close-fitting usu. Tartan trousers. [irish and gaelic: related to *trousers]