A police officer pulls over this guy who had been weaving in and out of the lanes. He goes up to the guy"s window and says, "Sir, I need you to blow into this breathalyzer tube."
The man says, "Sorry officer, I can"t do that. I am an asthmatic. If I do that I"ll have a really bad asthma attack."
"Okay, fine. I need you to come down to the station to give a blood sample."
"I can"t do that either. I am a hemophiliac. If I do that, I"ll bleed to death."
"Well, then we need an urine sample."
"I"m sorry, officer, I can"t do that either. I am also a diabetic. If I do that I"ll get really low blood sugar."
"All right then I need you to come out here and walk this white line."
"I can"t do that, officer."
"Why not?"
"Because I"m too drunk to do that!"
n. - thing serving as a symbol, reminder, or mark (as a token of affection; in token of my esteem).
- voucher.
- thing equivalent to something else, esp. Money.
- (attrib.) A perfunctory (token effort). B conducted briefly to demonstrate strength of feeling (token strike). C chosen by tokenism to represent a group (token woman).
TOMMY
n. (pl. -ies) colloq. British private soldier. [tommy atkins, name used in specimens of completed official forms]
TONAL
adj. Of or relating to tone or tonality. tonally adv. [medieval latin: related to *tone]
TONGS
n.pl. Implement with two arms for grasping coal, sugar, etc. [old english]
TONIC
sol-fa n. Mus. System of notation used esp. In teaching singing.
- water n. Carbonated water flavoured with quinine.
- —n. - invigorating medicine.
- anything serving to invigorate.
- = *tonic water.
- mus. Keynote. —adj. Invigorating. [greek: related to *tone]
TONNE
n. = *metric ton. [french: related to *ton]
TONUP
attrib. Adj. Slang (of a motor cyclist) achieving a speed of 100 m.p.h., esp. Habitually.
TOOTH
n. (pl. Teeth) 1 each of a set of hard bony enamel-coated structures in the jaws of most vertebrates, used for biting and chewing.
- toothlike part or projection, e.g. The cog of a gearwheel, the point of a saw or comb, etc.
- (often foll. By for) taste; appetite.
- (in pl.) Force, effectiveness. armed to the teeth completely and elaborately armed. Fight tooth and nail fight very fiercely. Get one's teeth into devote oneself seriously to. In the teeth of 1 in spite of (opposition or difficulty etc.).
- contrary to (instructions etc.).
- directly against (the wind etc.). toothed adj. (also in comb.). Toothless adj. [old english]
- powder n. Powder for cleaning the teeth.
TOPAZ
n. Transparent mineral, usu. Yellow, used as a gem. [greek topazos]
