One night a father sent his kid to bed. Five minutes later the boy screamed, “Dad! Can you get me a glass of water!?!”
“No. You had your chance.”
A minute later the boy screamed, “Dad!! Can you get me a glass of water?”
“No. You had your chance. Next time you ask I’ll come up there and spank you.”
“Dad! When you come up to spank me can you bring me a glass of water?”
colloq. —n. Sharp splattering sound. —adv. With a splat. —v. (-tt-) fall or hit with a splat. [abbreviation of *splatter]
SPLAY
—v. - spread apart.
- (of an opening) have its sides diverging.
- construct (an opening) with divergent sides. —n. Surface at an oblique angle to another. —adj. Splayed. [from *display]
SPLIT
infinitive n. Infinitive with an adverb etc. Inserted between to and the verb.
- pea n. Pea dried and split in half for cooking.
- personality n. Condition in which a person seems to have two alternating personalities.
- pin n. Metal cotter passed through a hole and held by the pressing back of the two ends.
- second —n. - very brief moment.
- (of timing) very accurate. —attrib. Adj. (split-second) 1 very rapid.
- (of timing) very accurate.
- —v. (-tt-; past and past part. Split) 1 a break, esp. With the grain or into halves; break forcibly. B (often foll. By up) divide into parts, esp. Equal shares (they split the money).
- (often foll. By off, away) remove or be removed by breaking or dividing.
- a (usu. Foll. By on, over, etc.) Divide into disagreeing or hostile parties (split on the question of picketing). B (foll. By with) quarrel or cease association with.
- cause the fission of (an atom).
- slang leave, esp. Suddenly.
- (usu. Foll. By on) colloq. Inform.
- a (as splitting adj.) (of a headache) severe. B (of the head) suffer from a severe headache, noise, etc. —n. - act or result of splitting.
- disagreement; schism.
- (in pl.) Feat of leaping in the air or sitting down with the legs at right angles to the body in front and behind or on either side.
- dish of split bananas etc. With ice-cream. split the difference take the average of two proposed amounts. Split hairs make insignificant distinctions. Split one's sides laugh uncontrollably. Split up separate, end a relationship. [dutch]
SPOIL
—v. (past and past part. Spoilt or spoiled) 1 a make or become useless or unsatisfactory. B reduce the enjoyment etc. Of (the news spoiled his dinner).
- make (esp. A child) unpleasant by over-indulgence.
- (of food) go bad.
- render (a ballot-paper) invalid by improper marking. —n. (usu. In pl.) 1 plunder, stolen goods.
- profit or advantage from success or position. be spoiling for aggressively seek (a fight etc.). Spoilt for choice having so many choices that it is difficult to choose. [latin spolio]
SPOKE
n. Each of the rods running from the hub to the rim of a wheel. put a spoke in a person's wheel thwart or hinder a person. spoked adj. [old english]
- past of *speak.
SPOOF
n. & v. Colloq. - parody.
- hoax, swindle. [invented word]
SPOOK
—n. Colloq. Ghost. —v. Esp. Us frighten, unnerve. [low german or dutch]
SPOOL
—n. - reel for winding magnetic tape, yarn, etc., on.
- revolving cylinder of an angler's reel. —v. Wind on a spool. [french espole or germanic spole]
SPOON
—n. - a utensil with a bowl and a handle for lifting food to the mouth, stirring, etc. B spoonful, esp. Of sugar.
- spoon-shaped thing, esp. (in full spoon-bait) a revolving metal fish-lure. —v. - (often foll. By up, out) take (liquid etc.) With a spoon.
- hit (a ball) feebly upwards.
- colloq. Kiss and cuddle. spoonful n. (pl. -s). [old english]
