There was an Scotsman, an Englishman and Claudia Schiffer sitting together in a carriage in a train going through Wales. Suddenly the train went through a tunnel and as it was an old style train,there were no lights in the carriages and it went completely dark. Then there was this kissing noise and the sound of a really loud slap. When the train came out of the tunnel, Claudia Schiffer and the Scotsman were sitting as if nothing had happened and the Englishman had his hand against his face as he had been slapped.
The Englishman was thinking: ‘The Scottish fella must have kissed Claudia Schiffer and she missed him and slapped me instead.’ Claudia Schiffer was thinking: ‘The English fella must have tried to kiss me and actually kissed the Scotsman and got slapped for it.’ And the Scotsman was thinking: ‘This is great. The next time the train goes through a tunnel I’ll make that kissing noise and slap that English btard again.
candle n. Candle made of rush pith dipped in tallow.
- hour n. (often hyphenated when attrib.) Time(s) each day when traffic is heaviest.
- —v. - go, move, flow, or act precipitately or with great speed.
- move or transport with great haste (was rushed to hospital).
- (foll. By at) a move suddenly towards. B begin or attack impetuously.
- perform or deal with hurriedly (don't rush your dinner).
- force or induce (a person) to act hastily.
- attack or capture by sudden assault.
- slang overcharge (a customer). —n. - a rushing; violent or speedy advance or attack. B sudden flow, flood.
- period of great activity.
- (attrib.) Done with great haste or speed (a rush job).
- sudden migration of large numbers.
- (foll. By on, for) sudden strong demand for a commodity.
- (in pl.) Colloq. First uncut prints of a film. [french ruser: related to *ruse]
- n. - marsh plant with slender tapering pith-filled stems, used for making chair-bottoms, baskets, etc.
- stem of this. rushy adj. [old english]
n. Slice of bread rebaked as a light biscuit, esp. As baby food. [spanish or portuguese rosca twist]
—n. - reddish corrosive coating formed on iron, steel, etc. By oxidation, esp. When wet.
- fungal plant-disease with rust-coloured spots.
- impaired state due to disuse or inactivity.
- reddish-brown. —v. - affect or be affected with rust.
- become impaired through disuse. [old english]
n. (pl. -s) 1 jewish scholar or teacher, esp. Of the law.
- jewish religious leader. rabbinical adj. [hebrew, = my master]
adj. - affected with rabies, mad.
- violent, fanatical. rabidity n. [latin rabio rave]
n. - system for detecting the direction, range, or presence of objects, by sending out pulses of high frequency electromagnetic waves which they reflect.
- apparatus for this. [from radio detection and ranging]
- trap n. Device using radar to detect speeding vehicles.
pl. Of *radius.
comb. Form 1 denoting radio or broadcasting.
- connected with radioactivity.
- connected with rays or radiation.
- frequency n. (pl. -ies) frequency band of telecommunication, ranging from 104 to 1011 or 1012 hz.
- telescope n. Directional aerial system for collecting and analysing radiation in the radio frequency range from stars etc.
- —n. (pl. -s) 1 (often attrib.) A transmission and reception of sound messages etc. By electromagnetic waves of radio frequency. B apparatus for receiving, broadcasting, or transmitting radio signals.
- a sound broadcasting (prefers the radio). B broadcasting station or channel (radio one). —v. (-es, -ed) 1 a send (a message) by radio. B send a message to (a person) by radio.
- communicate or broadcast by radio. [short for radio-telegraphy etc.]