The local sheriff was looking for a deputy, so Homer – who was not exactly the sharpest nail in the bucket – went in to try out for the job.
"Okay," the sheriff drawled, "Homer, what is 1 and 1?"
"11," he replied.
The sheriff thought to himself, "That"s not what I meant, but he"s right."
"What two days of the week start with the letter "T"?"
"Today and tomorrow."
He was again surprised that Homer supplied a correct answer that he had never thought of himself.
"Now Homer, listen carefully: Who killed Abraham Lincoln?"
Homer looked a little surprised himself, then thought really hard for a minute and finally admitted, "I don"t know."
"Well, why don"t you go home and work on that one for a while?"
So, Homer wandered over to the pool hall where his pals were waiting to hear the results of the interview. Homer was exultant.
"It went great! First day on the job and I"m already working on a murder case!"
- tree bearing this. [originally a plural, from french cooin, from cydonia in crete]
n. (in full quitch-grass) = *couch2. [old english]
—v. Tremble or vibrate with a slight rapid motion. —n. Quivering motion or sound. [obsolete quiver nimble]
- n. Case for arrows. [anglo-french from germanic]
n. Minimum number of members that must be present to constitute a valid meeting. [latin, = of whom]
attrib. Adj. Denoting the standard keyboard on english-language typewriters etc., with q, w, e, r, t, and y as the first keys on the top row of letters.
v. (-ies, -ied) 1 (often as qualified adj.) Make competent or fit for a position or purpose.
- make legally entitled.
- (usu. Foll. By for) (of a person) satisfy conditions or requirements.
- modify or limit (a statement etc.) (qualified approval).
- gram. (of a word) attribute a quality to esp. A noun.
- moderate, mitigate; make less severe.
- (foll. By as) be describable as, count as (a grunt hardly qualifies as conversation). qualifier n. [latin qualis such as, of what kind]
control n. Maintaining of standards in products or services by testing samples.
- n. (pl. -ies) 1 degree of excellence.
- a general excellence (has quality). B (attrib.) Of high quality (a quality product).
- attribute, faculty (has many good qualities).
- relative nature or character.
- timbre of a voice or sound.
- archaic high social standing (people of quality). [latin qualis such as, of what kind]
jump n. (also quantum leap) 1 sudden large increase or advance.
- physics abrupt transition in an atom or molecule from one quantum state to another.
- mechanics n.pl. (usu. Treated as sing.) (also quantum theory) physics theory assuming that energy exists in discrete units.
- n. (pl. Quanta) 1 physics discrete amount of energy proportional to the frequency of radiation it represents.
- a required or allowed amount. [latin quantus how much]
—n. - severe or angry dispute or contention.
- break in friendly relations.
- cause of complaint (have no quarrel with him). —v. (-ll-; us -l-) 1 (often foll. By with) find fault.
- dispute; break off friendly relations. [latin querela from queror complain]
day n. One of four days on which quarterly payments are due, tenancies begin and end, etc.
- sessions n.pl. Hist. Court of limited criminal and civil jurisdiction, usu. Held quarterly.
- —n. - each of four equal parts into which a thing is divided.
- period of three months.
- point of time 15 minutes before or after any hour.
- a 25 us or canadian cents. B coin for this.
- part of a town, esp. As occupied by a particular class (residential quarter).
- a point of the compass. B region at this.
- direction, district, or source of supply (help from any quarter).
- (in pl.) A lodgings. B accommodation of troops etc.
- a one fourth of a lunar month. B moon's position between the first and second (first quarter) or third and fourth (last quarter) of these. 10 a each of the four parts into which a carcass is divided. B (in pl.) = *hindquarters. 11 mercy towards an enemy etc. On condition of surrender. 12 a grain measure equivalent to 8 bushels. B one-fourth of a hundredweight. C colloq. One-fourth of a pound weight. 13 each of four divisions on a shield. —v. - divide into quarters.
- hist. Divide (the body of an executed person) in this way.
- a put (troops etc.) Into quarters. B provide with lodgings.
- heraldry place (coats of arms) on the four quarters of a shield. [latin quartarius: related to *quart]