Little Jimmy was staring at a dog in the park whilst the dog was licking himself in inappropriate parts and said to his dad, "I wish I could do that."
Jimmy"s dad looked down at Jimmy and said, "Maybe if you ask the dog nicely, he might let you!!"
n. - measure of capacity for liquids etc., 1/8 gal. (0.57, us 0.47, litre).
- a colloq. Pint of beer. B pint of a liquid, esp. Milk.
- measure of shellfish containable in a pint mug. [french]
n. (also pi meson) subatomic particle having a mass many times greater than that of an electron. [from *pi]
—n. - tube of metal, plastic, etc., used to convey water, gas, etc.
- a narrow tube with a bowl at one end containing tobacco for smoking. B quantity of tobacco held by this.
- a wind instrument of a single tube. B any of the tubes by which sound is produced in an organ. C (in pl.) = *bagpipes.
- tubular organ, vessel, etc. In an animal's body.
- high note or song, esp. Of a bird.
- a boatswain's whistle. B sounding of this.
- cask for wine, esp. As a measure, usu. = 105 gal. (about 477 litres). —v. (-ping) 1 a convey (oil, water, gas, etc.) By pipes. B provide with pipes.
- play (a tune etc.) On a pipe or pipes.
- (esp. As piped adj.) Transmit (recorded music etc.) By wire or cable.
- (usu. Foll. By up, on, to, etc.) Naut. A summon (a crew). B signal the arrival of (an officer etc.) On board.
- utter in a shrill voice.
- decorate or trim with piping.
- lead or bring (a person etc.) By the sound of a pipe or pipes. pipe down colloq. Be quiet or less insistent. Pipe up begin to play, sing, speak, etc. pipeful n. (pl. -s). [latin pipo chirp]
artist n. - drunkard.
- person who fools about.
- coarse slang —v. - urinate.
- discharge (blood etc.) With urine.
- (as pissed adj.) Drunk. —n. - urine.
- act of urinating. piss about fool or mess about. Piss down rain heavily. Piss off 1 go away.
- (often as pissed off adj.) Annoy; depress. Piss on (a person or thing) show utter contempt for. Take the piss (often foll. By out of) mock; make fun of. [french, imitative]
var. Of *pitta.
helmet n. Protective sun-helmet made of dried pith from plants.
- n. - spongy white tissue lining the rind of an orange etc.
- essential part.
- spongy tissue in the stems and branches of plants.
- strength; vigour; energy. [old english]
—n. - sorrow and compassion for another's suffering.
- cause for regret (what a pity!). —v. (-ies, -ied) feel (often contemptuous) pity for. take pity on help out of pity for. pitying adj. Pityingly adv. [latin: related to *piety]
—n. - method or procedure for doing something; design, scheme, or intention.
- drawing etc. Of a building or structure, made by projection on to a horizontal plane.
- map of a town or district.
- scheme of an arrangement (seating plan). —v. (-nn-) 1 arrange (a procedure etc.) Beforehand; form a plan; intend.
- make a plan of or design for.
- (as planned adj.) In accordance with a plan (planned parenthood).
- make plans. plan on (often foll. By pres. Part.) Colloq. Aim at; intend. planning n. [french]
on words n. Pun.
- school n. Nursery school or kindergarten.
- —v. - (often foll. By with) occupy or amuse oneself pleasantly.
- (foll. By with) act light-heartedly or flippantly with (a person's feelings etc.).
- a perform on or be able to perform on (a musical instrument). B perform (a piece of music etc.). C cause (a record, record-player, etc.) To produce sounds.
- a (foll. By in) perform a role in (a drama etc.). B perform (a drama or role) on stage etc. C give a dramatic performance at (a particular theatre or place).
- act in real life the part of (play truant; play the fool).
- (foll. By on) perform (a trick or joke etc.) On (a person).
- colloq. Cooperate; do what is wanted (they won't play).
- gamble, gamble on.
- a take part in (a game or recreation). B compete with (another player or team) in a game. C occupy (a specified position) in a team for a game. D assign (a player) to a position. 10 move (a piece) or display (a playing-card) in one's turn in a game. 11 (also absol.) Strike (a ball etc.) Or execute (a stroke) in a game. 12 move about in a lively manner; flit, dart. 13 (often foll. By on) a touch gently. B emit light, water, etc. (fountains gently playing). 14 allow (a fish) to exhaust itself pulling against a line. 15 (often foll. By at) a engage half-heartedly (in an activity). B pretend to be. —n. - recreation, amusement, esp. As the spontaneous activity of children.
- a playing of a game. B action or manner of this.
- dramatic piece for the stage etc.
- activity or operation (the play of fancy).
- a freedom of movement. B space or scope for this.
- brisk, light, or fitful movement.
- gambling. in (or out of) play sport (of the ball etc.) In (or not in) a position to be played according to the rules. Make a play for colloq. Make a conspicuous attempt to acquire. Make play with use ostentatiously. Play about (or around) behave irresponsibly. Play along pretend to cooperate. Play back play (sounds recently recorded). Play ball colloq. Cooperate. Play by ear 1 perform (music) without having seen it written down.
- (also play it by ear) colloq. Proceed step by step according to results. Play one's cards right (or well) colloq. Make good use of opportunities; act shrewdly. Play down minimize the importance of. Played out exhausted of energy or usefulness. Play fast and loose act unreliably. Play the field see *field. Play for time seek to gain time by delaying. Play the game observe the rules; behave honourably. Play havoc (or hell) with colloq. Cause great confusion or difficulty to; disrupt. Play into a person's hands act so as unwittingly to give a person an advantage. Play it cool colloq. Be relaxed or apparently indifferent. Play the market speculate in stocks etc. Play off (usu. Foll. By against) 1 oppose (one person against another), esp. For one's own advantage.
- play an extra match to decide a draw or tie. Play on 1 continue to play.
- take advantage of (a person's feelings etc.). Play safe (or for safety) avoid risks. Play up 1 behave mischievously.
- annoy in this way.
- cause trouble; be irritating. Play up to flatter, esp. To win favour. Play with fire take foolish risks. [old english]
n. - appeal, entreaty.
- law formal statement by or on behalf of a defendant.
- excuse. [latin placitum decree: related to *please]