The local sheriff was looking for a deputy, so Homer – who was not exactly the sharpest nail in the bucket – went in to try out for the job.
"Okay," the sheriff drawled, "Homer, what is 1 and 1?"
"11," he replied.
The sheriff thought to himself, "That"s not what I meant, but he"s right."
"What two days of the week start with the letter "T"?"
"Today and tomorrow."
He was again surprised that Homer supplied a correct answer that he had never thought of himself.
"Now Homer, listen carefully: Who killed Abraham Lincoln?"
Homer looked a little surprised himself, then thought really hard for a minute and finally admitted, "I don"t know."
"Well, why don"t you go home and work on that one for a while?"
So, Homer wandered over to the pool hall where his pals were waiting to hear the results of the interview. Homer was exultant.
"It went great! First day on the job and I"m already working on a murder case!"
- end n. The smaller end of a connecting-rod, attached to the piston.
- grebe n. Small water-bird of the grebe family.
- people n.pl. (prec. By the) fairies.
- woman n. (prec. By the) colloq. Often derog. One's wife.
- —adj. (littler, littlest; less or lesser, least) 1 small in size, amount, degree, etc.; often used affectionately or condescendingly (friendly little chap; silly little fool).
- a short in stature. B of short distance or duration.
- (prec. By a) a certain though small amount of (give me a little butter).
- trivial (questions every little thing).
LIVEIN
attrib. Adj. (of a sexual partner, employee, etc.) Cohabiting; resident.
LIVELY
adj. (-ier, -iest) 1 full of life; vigorous, energetic.
- vivid (lively imagination).
- cheerful.
- joc. Exciting, dangerous (made things lively for him). liveliness n. [old english]
LIVERY
n. (pl. -ies) 1 distinctive uniform of a member of a city company or of a servant.
- distinctive guise or marking (birds in their winter livery).
- distinctive colour scheme in which a company's vehicles etc. Are painted. at livery (of a horse) kept for the owner for a fixed charge. [anglo-french livere, past part. Of livrer *deliver]
- stable n. Stable where horses are kept at livery or let out for hire.
LIVING
wage n. Wage on which one can live without privation.
- —n. - being alive (that's what living is all about).
- livelihood.
- position held by a clergyman, providing an income. —adj. - contemporary; now alive.
- (of a likeness) exact, lifelike.
- (of a language) still in vernacular use. within living memory within the memory of people still alive.
LIZARD
n. Reptile with usu. A long body and tail, four legs, and a rough or scaly hide. [latin lacertus]
LLOYDS
list n. Daily publication devoted to shipping news.
- n. Incorporated society of underwriters in london. [lloyd, proprietor of the coffee-house where the society originally met]
- register n. Annual classified list of all ships.
LOADED
adj. - slang a rich. B drunk. C us drugged.
- (of dice etc.) Weighted.
- (of a question or statement) carrying some hidden implication.
LOADER
n. - loading-machine.
- (in comb.) Gun, machine, lorry, etc., loaded in a specified way (breech-loader; front-loader). -loading adj. (in comb.) (in sense 2).
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