A musical director was having a lot of trouble with one drummer. He talked and talked and talked with the drummer, but his performance simply didn"t improve.
Finally, before the whole orchestra, he said, "When a musician just can"t handle his instrument and doesn"t improve when given help, they take away the instrument, and give him two sticks, and make him a drummer."
A stage whisper was heard from the percussion section: "And if he can"t handle even that, they take away one of his sticks and make him a conductor."
Crocodiles and alligators are surprisingly fast on land. Although they are rapid, they are not agile; so if you ever find yourself chased by one, run in a zigzag line. You"ll lose him or her every time.