A police officer pulls over this guy who had been weaving in and out of the lanes. He goes up to the guy"s window and says, "Sir, I need you to blow into this breathalyzer tube."
The man says, "Sorry officer, I can"t do that. I am an asthmatic. If I do that I"ll have a really bad asthma attack."
"Okay, fine. I need you to come down to the station to give a blood sample."
"I can"t do that either. I am a hemophiliac. If I do that, I"ll bleed to death."
"Well, then we need an urine sample."
"I"m sorry, officer, I can"t do that either. I am also a diabetic. If I do that I"ll get really low blood sugar."
"All right then I need you to come out here and walk this white line."
"I can"t do that, officer."
"Why not?"
"Because I"m too drunk to do that!"
n. Short showy or ceremonious sounding of trumpets etc. [french]
FANTAIL
n. Pigeon with a broad tail.
FANTASY
n. (pl. -ies) 1 imagination, esp. When unrelated to reality (lives in the realm of fantasy).
- mental image, day-dream.
- fantastic invention or composition. [greek phantasia appearance]
FARAWAY
adj. - remote.
- (of a look or voice) dreamy, distant.
FARRAGO
n. (pl. -s or us -es) medley, hotchpotch. [latin, = mixed fodder, from far corn]
FARRIER
n. Smith who shoes horses. [latin ferrum iron, horseshoe]
FARTHER
var. Of *further (esp. Of physical distance).
FASCISM
n. - extreme totalitarian right-wing nationalist movement in italy (1922–43).
- (also fascism) any similar movement. fascist n. & adj. (also fascist). Fascistic adj. (also fascistic). [italian fascio bundle, organized group]
FASHION
—n. - current popular custom or style, esp. In dress.
- manner of doing something. —v. (often foll. By into) make or form. after (or in) a fashion to some extent, barely acceptably. In (or out of) fashion fashionable (or not fashionable). [latin factio: related to *fact]
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