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Funny jokes

A man and a woman got married, and he told her: "Since you are my wife you should respect my traditions and habits... and I have 3 traditions.
So, first tradition: on Wednesdays I play football with my friends... no matter what.. whether it snows or it rains... I dont care.. I play football!! Is it clear for you?" - husband asks his wife.
"Yes, sure," - she answers.
"So, the second tradition... On Fridays I play poker with my friends, no matter what, I play poker!!
Is it clear for you?" - he asks.
"Yes, sure," - she answers.
"The third tradition... On Sundays I go fishing, no matter what, I go fishing...whether it snows or it rains... I go fishing!!!
Is it clear for you?" - he asks.
"Yes, sure," - she answers.
"Any objections?" - he asks.
"No, I understand," - his wife answers.
"Maybe you have your own traditions?" - he asks.
She thought for a while and said: "Well, I have, but only one... every night at 10p.m. I have sex... whether I have my husband beside me, or I dont have ... I don’t care.. I have sex!!!"

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Cryptic crossword №42: MARTINI

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ACROSS:
1. A message that tells the particulars of an act or occurrence or course of events; presented in writing or drama or cinema or as a radio or television program
6. United States actor and assassin of President Lincoln (1838-1865)
9. The largest city in Kansas; located in southern Kansas on the Arkansas River
10. Erect in posture
11. An associative relation
12. Especially a light saddle horse for a woman
13. Behave badly
15. Popular dance music (especially in the late 1970s); melodic with a regular bass beat; intended mainly for dancing at discotheques
16. (of something seen or heard) clearly defined
19. (idiomatic) in a dangerous, hazardous, or delicate situation; at risk
22. A cocktail made of gin (or vodka) with dry vermouth
23. A periodical that summarizes the news
25. A Siren of German legend who lured boatmen in the Rhine to destruction
26. (dramaturgy) exaggerate one's acting
27. A definite no
28. A person who explains
DOWN:
1. The post at the top or bottom of a flight of stairs; it supports the handrail
2. Formally reject or disavow a formerly held belief, usually under pressure
3. Heighten or intensify
4. Showing a lack of intelligence or thought; stupid and silly
5. An instrumentality needed for an undertaking or to perform a service
6. Formerly two short sleds coupled together
7. In the usual direction of travel, straight on
8. A place suitable for hiding something (such as yourself)
13. Any of several varieties of vine whose fruit has a netted rind and edible flesh and a musky smell
14. A dark-skinned member of a race of people living in Australia when Europeans arrived
17. The crew of an aircraft
18. A soft wool fabric with a colourful swirled pattern of curved shapes
20. (astronomy) the disappearance of a celestial body prior to an eclipse
21. A very short time (as the time it takes the eye to blink or the heart to beat)
23. Droop, sink, or settle from or as if from pressure or loss of tautness
24. Man with strong sexual desires

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Random puzzles:
Crossword puzzle №18: DRESS
Cryptic crossword №13: TRADE ROUTE
American crossword №47: DRAINING BOARD
Freeform crossword №13: CASTLE IN THE AIR
Crossword puzzle №19: CRYOGENICS
Cryptic crossword №14: VACUUM CLEANER
American crossword №48: DOMESTIC SCIENCE
Freeform crossword №14: TRAP-DOOR SPIDER
Crossword puzzle №20: FOUNTAIN
Cryptic crossword №15: CLEAR THE DECKS
American crossword №49: STEREOSCOPY
Freeform crossword №15: LEGITIMACY



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< Administrator > 20.11.17
Cryptic crossword №42: MARTINI
Size of crossword: 15х15

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