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Funny jokes

Sitting on the side of the highway waiting to catch speeding drivers, a State Police Officer see"s a car puttering along at 22 MPH.
He thinks to himself, "This driver is just as dangerous as a speeder!" So he turns on his lights and pulls the driver over. Approaching the car, he notices that there are five old ladies, two in the front seat and three in the back, wide eyed and white as ghosts. The driver, obviously confused, says to him, "Officer, I don"t understand, I was doing exactly the speed limit! What seems to be the problem?"
"Ma"am," the officer replies, "You weren"t speeding, but you should know that driving slower than the speed limit can also be a danger to other drivers."
"Slower than the speed limit? No sir, I was doing the speed limit exactly twenty-two miles an hour!" the old woman says a bit proudly.
The State Police officer, trying to contain a chuckle, explains to her that "22" was the route number, not the speed limit.
A bit embarrassed, the woman grinned and thanked the officer for pointing out her error.
"But before I let you go, Ma"am, I have to ask... Is everyone in this car OK? These women seem awfully shaken and they haven"t muttered a single peep this whole time," the officer asks.
"Oh, they"ll be all right in a minute officer. We just got off Route 142."

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American crossword №64: PRIVATE SCHOOL

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ACROSS:
1. Break a small piece off from
5. Anaemic looking from illness or emotion
10. (Old Testament) in Judeo-Christian mythology; the first man and the husband of Eve and the progenitor of the human race
14. A tiny or scarcely detectable amount
15. The capital of Egypt and the largest city in Africa; a major port just to the south of the Nile delta; formerly the home of the Pharaohs
16. Formerly a large constellation in the southern hemisphere between Canis Major and the Southern Cross; now divided into Carina and Pyxis and Puppis and Vela
17. Makes decorative wooden panels
19. (botany) the usually underground organ that lacks buds, leaves or nodes; absorbs water and mineral salts; usually it anchors the plant to the ground
20. [Brit] A building with a bar that is licensed to sell alcoholic drinks
21. A superior skill that you can learn by study and practice and observation
22. The longest French river; rises in the Massif Central and flows north and west to the Atlantic Ocean
23. Concerned with the ecological effects of altering the environment
28. Tall perennial herb of tropical Asia with dark green leaves; cultivated for the fibre from its woody stems that resembles flax
30. A book available in electronic form (e.g. for download from the internet)
31. Exert oneself continuously, vigorously, or obtrusively to gain an end or engage in a crusade for a certain cause or person; be an advocate for
32. A written communication in a second language having the same meaning as the written communication in a first language
36. Explosive device that explodes on contact; designed to destroy vehicles or ships or to kill or maim personnel
37. A facial expression characterized by turning up the corners of the mouth; usually shows pleasure or amusement
39. The friction between a body and the surface on which it moves (as between an automobile tire and the road)
41. The sound of a sneeze
43. Having the same or nearly the same characteristics
44. Aquatic perennial plant native to eastern Asia; widely cultivated for its large pink or white flowers
46. An employee whose duties include running errands
47. A school established and controlled privately and supported by endowment and tuition
52. Someone who is loved (used as term of endearment)
53. Female of certain aquatic animals e.g. octopus or lobster
54. Exclamation of satisfaction on discovering something, solving a problem, finding a solution, etc.
57. A closed plane curve resulting from the intersection of a circular cone and a plane cutting completely through it
58. Accompanied by or of the nature of paroxysms
62. Have a tendency or disposition to do or be something; be inclined
63. Cause annoyance in; disturb, especially by minor irritations
64. Prevent from being included, considered or accepted
65. A monetary subunit in Denmark and Norway and Sweden; 100 ore equal 1 krona
66. A malfunction in the flight of an aircraft in which there is a sudden loss of lift that results in a downward plunge
67. Greek mathematician and inventor who devised a way to determine the area of a triangle and who described various mechanical devices (first century)
DOWN:
1. A native or inhabitant of New Zealand
2. The middle of the day
3. Compensation for a wrong
4. Temporary living quarters
5. Any of several mites of the order Acarina
6. French writer and existentialist philosopher (1905-1980)
7. Infection by the human immunodeficiency virus
8. Earlier in time than
9. And not; neither
10. United States professional baseball player who hit more home runs than Babe Ruth (born in 1934)
11. A right; law in its aspect of the foundation of rights; also, in old law, the writ of right
12. The marketplace in ancient Greece
13. A motor hotel
18. Explore natural caves
22. The basic unit of money in Albania
24. A person born in the United States of parents who emigrated from Japan
25. Easily perceived by the senses or grasped by the mind
26. The season around the 25th December (traditionally extending from Dec. 24 to Jan. 6)
27. Comparative of much; to a greater degree or extent
28. Rate of revolution of a motor
29. An elaborate song for solo voice
33. An Eskimo hut; usually built of blocks (of sod or snow) in the shape of a dome
34. A red or orange-red flag used as a standard by early French kings
35. (Greek mythology) winged goddess of victory; identified with Roman Victoria
37. The act of firing a projectile
38. (nontechnical usage) a tiny piece of anything
40. For each, or for every
42. Kill intentionally and with premeditation
43. A state of acute pain
45. An educational institution
47. (photography) take a photograph
48. Someone who leads a wandering unsettled life
49. Showing a lack of intelligence or thought; stupid and silly
50. Elevated open grassland in southern Africa
51. A compound radical, C6H13, used as a modifier for containing compounds
55. A very small distance or space
56. Of or being the lowest female voice
58. (ballet) a step in dancing (especially in classical ballet)
59. Social insect living in organized colonies; characteristically the males and fertile queen have wings during breeding season; wingless sterile females are the workers
60. (biochemistry) a long linear polymer of nucleotides found in the nucleus but mainly in the cytoplasm of a cell where it is associated with microsomes; it transmits genetic information from DNA to the cytoplasm and controls certain chemical processes in the cell
61. The syllable naming the fifth (dominant) note of any musical scale in solmization

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  • American crossword №34: INSTALLMENT PLAN
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  • Freeform crossword №4: POTATO
 

Random puzzles:
Crossword puzzle №6: WATERFALLS
Cryptic crossword №7: BARTENDER
American crossword №34: INSTALLMENT PLAN
Freeform crossword №2: WASTREL
Crossword puzzle №7: SPORT
Cryptic crossword №8: ENAMELWARE
American crossword №35: GRAY AREA
Freeform crossword №3: SPANIEL
Crossword puzzle №8: ANIMALS
Cryptic crossword №9: HUNTRESS
American crossword №36: ASSIGN
Freeform crossword №4: POTATO



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< Administrator > 16.08.31
American crossword №64: PRIVATE SCHOOL
Size of crossword: 15х15

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