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There was an Scotsman, an Englishman and Claudia Schiffer sitting together in a carriage in a train going through Wales. Suddenly the train went through a tunnel and as it was an old style train,there were no lights in the carriages and it went completely dark. Then there was this kissing noise and the sound of a really loud slap. When the train came out of the tunnel, Claudia Schiffer and the Scotsman were sitting as if nothing had happened and the Englishman had his hand against his face as he had been slapped.
The Englishman was thinking: ‘The Scottish fella must have kissed Claudia Schiffer and she missed him and slapped me instead.’ Claudia Schiffer was thinking: ‘The English fella must have tried to kiss me and actually kissed the Scotsman and got slapped for it.’ And the Scotsman was thinking: ‘This is great. The next time the train goes through a tunnel I’ll make that kissing noise and slap that English btard again.

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American crossword №34: INSTALLMENT PLAN

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ACROSS:
1. The dishes making up a meal
5. Soft creamy candy
10. An enclosed space
14. Any place of complete bliss and delight and peace
15. Wood of any of various alder trees; resistant to underwater rot; used for bridges etc
16. A Siouan language spoken by the Crow
17. Cuts down trees and chops wood as a job
19. A fit of shivering or shaking
20. (the feminine of raja) a Hindu princess or the wife of a raja
21. Cause to accept or become hardened to; habituate
22. Determine the direction of travelling
25. An inquiry into the financial position of someone applying for financial aid
29. At or in the front
30. A saying that is widely accepted on its own merits
31. The syllable naming the second (supertonic) note of any major scale in solmization
32. Any plant of the genus Kalmia
34. A rapid active commotion
35. A system for paying for goods by installments
42. The upper part of anything
43. The nations of the European continent collectively
44. Not subject to defeat
47. An implement used in the practice of a vocation
49. Quality of having muscular strength
50. Meat (especially mutton) stewed with potatoes and onions
52. A person with unusual powers of foresight
53. A small concavity
54. An extension at the end and at right angles to the main building
56. A person who acts and gets things done
57. A dungeon with the only entrance or exit being a trap door in the ceiling
63. Other than what is under consideration or implied
64. Any sacred song used to praise the deity
65. Balcony consisting of the forward section of a theatre mezzanine
66. Retired, returned
67. Become stretched, tense or taut
68. A system of exercises practised as part of the Hindu discipline to promote control of the body and mind
DOWN:
1. Cry like a cat
2. A member of a west African people living in the tropical forest region of southern Nigeria
3. New, revised new version
4. Not imagined even in a dream
5. Ancient Italian deity in human shape, with horns, pointed ears and a goat's tail; equivalent to Greek satyr
6. The last syllable in a word
7. An insecticide that is also toxic to animals and humans; banned in the United States since 1972
8. Turn to the right side
9. To make a mistake or be incorrect
10. Less than the correct, legal or full amount, often deliberately
11. Someone who engages in debate
12. Education imparted in a series of lessons or meetings
13. A dish served as the last course of a meal
18. The opening into the stomach and that part of the stomach connected to the oesophagus
21. Denotes a state or condition, belief or principle
22. British writer of short stories (1870-1916)
23. Conjunction used in comparatives
24. The fatty flesh of eel; an elongate fish found in fresh water in Europe and America; large eels are usually smoked or pickled
26. An item of information that is typical of a class or group
27. Someone who acts as assistant
28. No person
33. A singer whose voice lies in the alto clef
36. Goods or money obtained illegally
37. Disorderly fighting
38. Associated with the priesthood or priests
39. Lacking companions or companionship
40. Someone who copies the words or behaviour of another
41. Information about recent and important events
44. A worker who winds (e.g., a winch, clock or other mechanism)
45. American songbird; male is black and orange or yellow
46. Pleasant or pleasing or agreeable in nature or appearance
47. Definite article
48. The undulating movement of the surface of the open sea
51. A tiny or scarcely detectable amount
55. A caustic substance produced by heating limestone
57. Select as an alternative over another
58. Take or consume (regularly or habitually)
59. A bachelor's degree in nursing
60. To a degree exceeding normal or proper limits
61. Oval reproductive body of a fowl (especially a hen) used as food
62. Anything apparently limitless in quantity or volume

Random puzzles:

 
  • Crossword puzzle №9: CANYONS
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  • American crossword №18: BIRDS EYE VIEW
  • American crossword №19: TRESTLE TABLE
  • American crossword №20: STRETCHER-BEARER
  • Freeform crossword №13: CASTLE IN THE AIR
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  • Freeform crossword №15: LEGITIMACY
 

Random puzzles:
Crossword puzzle №9: CANYONS
Cryptic crossword №10: PINE MARTEN
American crossword №18: BIRDS EYE VIEW
Freeform crossword №13: CASTLE IN THE AIR
Crossword puzzle №10: SKY
Cryptic crossword №11: FUNCTION
American crossword №19: TRESTLE TABLE
Freeform crossword №14: TRAP-DOOR SPIDER
Crossword puzzle №11: SCIENCE
Cryptic crossword №12: FIVE-STAR
American crossword №20: STRETCHER-BEARER
Freeform crossword №15: LEGITIMACY



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< Administrator > 16.08.02
American crossword №34: INSTALLMENT PLAN
Size of crossword: 15х15

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Interesting facts

A South African monkey was once awarded a medal and promoted to the rank of corporal during World War I.

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