A police officer pulls over this guy who had been weaving in and out of the lanes. He goes up to the guy"s window and says, "Sir, I need you to blow into this breathalyzer tube."
The man says, "Sorry officer, I can"t do that. I am an asthmatic. If I do that I"ll have a really bad asthma attack."
"Okay, fine. I need you to come down to the station to give a blood sample."
"I can"t do that either. I am a hemophiliac. If I do that, I"ll bleed to death."
"Well, then we need an urine sample."
"I"m sorry, officer, I can"t do that either. I am also a diabetic. If I do that I"ll get really low blood sugar."
"All right then I need you to come out here and walk this white line."
"I can"t do that, officer."
"Why not?"
"Because I"m too drunk to do that!"
n. Projection on a wheel etc., shaped to convert circular into reciprocal or variable motion. [dutch kam comb]
CAN
v.aux. (3rd sing. Present can; past could) 1 a be able to; know how to. B be potentially capable of (these storms can last for hours).
- be permitted to. [old english, = know]
- —n. - metal vessel for liquid.
- sealed tin container for the preservation of food or drink.
- (in pl.) Slang headphones.
- (prec. By the) slang a prison. B us lavatory. —v. (-nn-) put or preserve in a can. in the can colloq. Completed, ready. [old english]
CAP
abbr. Common agricultural policy (of the ec).
- abbr. Common agricultural policy (of the ec).
- —n. - a soft brimless hat, usu. With a peak. B head-covering worn in a particular profession. C cap as a sign of membership of a sports team. D mortarboard.
- a cover like a cap (kneecap). B top for a bottle, jar, pen, camera lens, etc.
- = *dutch cap.
- = *percussion cap.
- dental crown. —v. (-pp-) 1 a put a cap on. B cover the top or end of. C set a limit to (charge-capping).
- award a sports cap to.
- form the top of.
- surpass, excel. cap in hand humbly. If the cap fits (of a remark) if it applies to you, so be it. To cap it all after everything else. [latin cappa]
CAR
bomb n. Terrorist bomb placed in or under a parked car.
- n. - (in full motor car) motor vehicle for a driver and small number of passengers.
- (in comb.) Road vehicle or railway carriage esp. Of a specified kind (tramcar; dining-car).
- us any railway carriage or van.
- passenger compartment of a lift, balloon, etc. [french from latin]
- park n. Area for parking cars.
- phone n. Radio-telephone for use in a car etc.
CAT
burglar n. Burglar who enters by climbing to an upper storey.
- door var. Of *cat flap.
- flap n. (also cat door) small swinging flap in an outer door, for a cat to pass in and out.
- n. - small soft-furred four-legged domesticated animal.
- wild animal of the same family, e.g. Lion, tiger.
- colloq. Malicious or spiteful woman.
- = *cat-o'-nine-tails. the cat's whiskers colloq. Excellent person or thing. Let the cat out of the bag reveal a secret. Like a cat on hot bricks very agitated. Put (or set) the cat among the pigeons cause trouble. Rain cats and dogs rain hard. [latin cattus]
CAW
—n. Harsh cry of a rook, crow, etc. —v. Utter this cry. [imitative]
CBE
abbr. Commander of the order of the british empire.
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